I'm going to just come out and say it.
Black trousers. But perfect ones. And the difficulty in finding them is that everyone wants something that little bit different and everyone is a slightly different shape.
They are so SO so so hard to pin down. So shopping the other day with the best friend and I was after the perfect pair of jeans. And she was after the perfect pair of black trousers. It's no wonder we ended up drinking three bottles of champagne. To drown our sorrows and not to celebrate (although I will admit I was more than slightly chuffed with my gold Topshop shoes). As we found sweet diddly squat (ok so we may have got a tad distracted and I may have got a tad arsed at having to undo my Toga Pulla boots every time I wanted to try something on so we didn't look *that* hard...). But I do know that it's not an easy mission to undertake.
Jeans - we came up with a cunning plan for them so I'll shelve them for today, but I am totally buying into her obsession with nailing the perfect black cropped trousers for the Spring.
We're not talking worky worky but we're not talking leggings either (dear lord help us and save us - no). We're not talking peg leg, we're talking cigarette. That's exactly what we want. But they have to fit properly on the thigh. And they can't be too tight on the calf. And they have to be the exact length. Which is clearly different on everyone.
So basically we should all give up now right?
Wrong. Audrey says KEEP GOING.
Ok so actually when you look up pics of Audrey Hepburn on the perennial lifeblood sucker that is Pinterest, you will find that she actually wore properly skinny, spray on black trousers most of the time. Which is fine if you're 5ft3, a size 6 and a trained ballerina but for the majority of us, these aren't the most flattering.
Which lots of people have worked out, as there are some amazing photos of EXACTLY what I want - all inspired by Audrey. (ie you put Audrey Hepburn black trousers in and this is what it spits out). And none of them are super skinny pants - they are all a take on a cigarette.
Although these, I would want slightly tighter through the thigh I think... I'm just in awe of how chic the whole shooting match is. And that she can jump like that and not have her face look like she's having a mini stroke. (try it and get someone to pap you - it's impossible).
These are what we want... (ignoring the fact she has legs like twiglets...)
This is better....
Or these... oh simply TOO perfect.
More perfection. Although the ones above are hands down winners for me, and I want that jumper too.
Where to begin?
Starting with ones that I know are very popular - the Bistro Crop from Boden. Which currently have 25% off... K6W6 till Thursday...
Bistro Crop Trousers £59.50 pre discount
Then there is the Cigarette Richmond Trouser... available in lots of sizes and lengths. And of course in black... £59
Ok this is them in the ivory as I really think you need to see them on as opposed to just a pair of flat trousers... but they are in black online. And they have a side zip which I have to say I mostly find very flattering.
Or the Richmond 7/8th trouser. What's the difference? Pass. The one above is a side zip and the one below is a front zip. Personally I would just order both to see which work better or which fabric you prefer.
Richmond 7/8 Trouser in black £59.50 Again this isn't black but it's a great indicator of how they look on. This is the pink with the black stripe which I have to say are all sorts of epic.
Machine washable from Reiss now.
Joanne Black Cropped Tailored Trousers from Reiss £95 (I have a feeling these would be the right sort of tight on my thighs as opposed to here...)
Staying classic now and these can easily be dressed up or down.
Stretch 7/8th Tailored Trousers from Jaeger were £120 now £80
Love the look of the cropped kick flare (which looks like a subtle one...) from Next and these come in different lengths which are perfect if you are taller or smaller and then they're "properly cropped" and not either pedal pusher length or dragging on the ground.
Textured Cotton Slub Crop Flare Trousers from Next £26 It's up to you whether or not you like the "textured cotton slub" fabric.... I can't see how substantial it is and one thing I think these need to be is "substantial". I don't want a floaty, flowy fabric. I want a sturdy, suck it all in fabric. Which isn't particularly summery but is definitely super flattering. And judging by the glorious Spring weather we're being blessed with, actually what we need.
So I think the fabric I'm really looking for is a heavy stretch cotton. I'm thinking either a ponte or more likely a gabardine. To be honest I've found ponte can very much differ from retailer to retailer but I reckon these would be worth a shot from Jaeger.
Ponte Trousers from Jaeger were £125 now £39 Yes - that's less than £40 for trousers from Jaeger which will last you forever. I swear there are Time Machines that they will dig up in 100yrs that will have Jaeger clothes in them.
Gabardine though, I've found at Me+Em and a great option in the sale. I am GUTTED that these are sold out in my size in the sale as they look like they're exactly what I'm looking for.
Stretch Gabardine Boy Cut Trousers in Black were £118 now £82
They do have skinny but i'm not sure I want super skinny for the Spring... however, high rise is very appealing and Me+Em clothes are the most flattering things E.ver. I'll definitely be going to London in the next week or so and will make a special effort to go and try these on.
High Rise Stretch Gabardine Skinny Trouser in Black from Me+Em £118
And then we up the ante with a selection from The Outnet. I live in hope that some of these may be machine washable. For me, if they're not, they're an immediate no no. Unless I think I can get away with washing that sort of fabric... anything with viscose in, I wouldn't (or would I....?)
I LOVE these and would order them in a heartbeat but lazy cow alert, it says dry clean only... dare I?? Anyone tried those dryclean in your tumble drier thingies?
Elizabeth & James Victor stretch skinny trousers were £270 now £118.80
But my favourite of the lot is from Joseph. Well, I say that.. they would except that they don't go in the machine. YAWN YAWN YAWN.
These are a straight leg....
Joseph Finley Straight Stretch Gabardine Trousers £185
Or I LOVE the Eliston stretch-gabardine slim leg pants from Joseph £185 These look like they'd be the best for me as they're only slightly cropped. This is the pic from Net a Porter.
And if you look a the pics from the Joseph website, you can see why. Amazing. The PERECT shape.
Properly cropped though and these are probably the best if you've got normal legs from Joseph again - The Queen Trousers £185
I say that but in fact these from Elizabeth & James are also an amazing pair. These are EXACTLY what I'm looking for... if I could trust they'd look identical on me as they do on the model....
Remy stretch-ponte slim leg pants from Elizabeth & James were £270 now £118.80
They are all on the expensive side though, so my favourite more cost effective pair would be the Latimer Slim Crop from Finery £55 BUT use PAYPAL20 for 20% off (everything).
These are made from a "special technical fabric" and look fabulous. Gutted that they'd probably be too short for me by the looks of things. Although tempted to try them at that price...
And then finally there is the option that I have on today. Jeans. But they're black on black and to be honest with you don't necessarily look like jeans. I have to say they're one of my favourite pairs (I am beyond tempted to get them in the grey as well...). I like to keep the zips slightly undone to give a very slight flare to the hem.
Zip Ankle Skimmer Jeans from Boden £49.50 pre 25% discount
So here I am in the only version I have in my wardrobe which definitely solve the trouser dilemma for this week. I can recommend for sure.
Grey cashmere polo neck - Me+Em
Grey flannel blazer - Me+Em
Black zip ankle skimmer jeans - Boden
Black Mario bag - Jerome Dreyfuss
Red loafers - Gucci
Now it may be raining but I have spookily loads of ideas of things we can be wearing (yes I am assuming we shall be moving on from this arctic conditions which frankly I'm not discussing). Since rediscovering blue jeans, I have found my mojo for all things classic to go with them. I have more shoes, blazers, blouses and jumpers on my mind. Not to mention all things properly Summer which I still have to cover. Any requests?!
And if anyone has any other fabulous trouser recommendations that I've missed, please do holler. Thanking you all kindly.
Oh and huge congratulations to Eve Taylor who was the winner of the hush competition. Eve, if you could email email@example.com with your details, thank you x