That's what I can envisage people singing, complete with clicky fingers when I sashay in (and obviously I shall be sashaying with the best of them) to a party wearing a pair of these shoes. Ish. In my dreams......
WARNING - these are not going to be everyone's cup of tea.
The irony is, that after completing my research for this (which may have been fuelled by coffee and prosecco so it did go slightly off piste as I went through it...), it became clear that the line between Killer Queen and Drag Queen is a very very fine one....
I am talking full on, "gosh they're interesting", statement shoes. Or shoe boots would possibly be a more accurate description.
I have a big party this Saturday night when we get back from holiday and I've suddenly realised I have no idea what I'm going to be wearing. As it doesn't look like Summer is going to be returning by this weekend. I had potentially contemplated an old but classic Burberry dress and the obligatory cage shoes that go with it, but it's rather bare on top.
To be honest, sat here, having been SOAKED earlier in the rain ("how wet can we get if we go on a little walk?", I said. The answer was very) the thought of encasing my legs in thick black lycra, as opposed to going to to battle with the fake tan, is a very appealing one.
Which got me thinking about other A/W dresses I have and how to ring the changes with them this season.
Hey presto these.......I need a pair of these in my life. I saw them in one of the September magazines and I thought they were amazing.
(remember I said WARNING... well you have been warned... you will either love or hate these)
Burberry Prorsum Lilybelle Fringed Suede ankle boots £950 (ok so I HATE the price clearly)
I love these so so much. With jeans, with black leather trousers of any shape, with dresses, with just my underwear (joke), these will make any old boring outfit you had seem like a completely new one. (for two seconds then - ok so a bit more than two seconds as my maths are very very bad - I did just work out if it would be worth buying them and not buying ONE SINGLE THING to go out in at night... the answer is no)
There is also a more subtle version (you can sort of see where this post is heading if I label these "subtle"....)
Fringed Suede Ankle Boots £695 Burberry Prorsum
So whilst the nearly £1k price tag means these are simply not an option, surely there are some cheaper options that have filtered down for us mere mortals?
But this is the best of what I could find. (and it went a bit random)
I really shouldn't like these... but there is something about them I'm completely randomly drawn to.
ASOS Element Fake Fur Shoe Boots £50
These I love. I absolutely and utterly adore but they don't have them in my size.
Embellished Suede Ankle boot from Isabel Marant was £585 now £234
These would in fact serve a double purpose as they could be worn during the day as they're not actually that high... now that's food for thought...... OOOH
Casadei Leopard print calf hair and leather ankle boots were £730 now £292
Charlotte Olympia Alice calf hair ankle boots with 60% off were £675 now £270 Genuinely if these were an inch lower I would buy them in a heartbeat. I would wear them with everything (even my jamas)
These are lower but, dare I say it, they're not statement enough for me. Subtlety be gone. For most I appreciate these are probably a lot better than the rest.
Gigi elaphe snakeskin pointed shoe boot with 70% off was £625 now £187
So then I started looking at more shoes than boots. This isn't particularly what I had in mind but it's where the research led me..... However the point is that I want to be able to wear these with black opaques. I'm not sure the strappier shoe works with opaques as you can't see the straps. Which sort of defeats the point. Which means that they're a no for what I'm looking for but they are still pretty darn amazing. And would work perfectly with good old nude tights (of which I am a huge huge fan)
Schutz Nate suede ankle boots were £220 now £99
Daisy Street Strappy Heeled Court Shoes £34.99
A similar leather version at Aldo
Astevia Black shoes £80
I have to say though, these would get my vote.... if they weren't so high I'd probably get a nose bleed wearing them....
ASOS Promote Pointed Caged Shoe £45
The theme continues.
Lace up pointed heels from River Island £75
These are simply gorgeous.
ASOS Elko Caged high heels £45
And I ran out of steam. I'm super hoping that it's because it's too early in the season. I need full on comedy shoe boots please (as I can hear The Husband calling them - well, not shoe boots - I'm not sure he's remotely au fait with that level of terminology but the comedy bit would definitely feature).
So I resorted to looking at sandals. In your face, unashamedly show girl style sandals. The perennial argument remains - can you wear ever wear tights with an open toe shoe..... Well. For me, I would have to say no. But, my super fashionista friend (senior editor type mag person) once wore (and obviously I clocked it) a pair of a gazillion denier tights with a super strappy pair of glad heels.......v short Kenzo dress... and it looked fab.
And so I did the same thing with a very short black dress, 120 denier black tights and glitter Lucy Choi gladiator sandals. The world did not fall of its axis... and I think they actually looked ok.
Therefore I present you with the argument... is it ever ok to wear tights with open toe shoes..... (I'm going to stick my neck out and say a pair of american tan one - no.... I'd even go so far as to say I think no with a pair of 15 denier black ones. But then to be fair, I'm not sure I'd wear a pair of 15 denier black tights ever. That is my personal taste however....) With opaques (and therefore not an obvious toe seam), I'm wondering if it would work...
In an ideal world of course, we would just be able to find a cheaper pair of the Burberrys.
But these in the meantime are spectacular.
Tri colour sandals with fringe from Zara £69.99 Alas though I want to wear with black and I don't think this colour combo would work at all. To wear with black tights, I think there definitely needs to be a good part of the shoe that is also black.
These however.... (too summery for me I think though... I am turning into the Goldilocks of the shoe world)
Black leather caged pom pom shoes from River Island £75
Love these ones so so much but for me, definitely bare feet wear only. I think the difference between a yay and a nay with tights, may lie in the heel needing to be covered... it needs to be more of a peep toe shoe boot almost as opposed to a sandal....
Brown Suede Lace up Heels from River Island £75
Tan brown strappy heeled sandals from River Island £70 But these are definitely too strappy and too delicate to wear with tights. Doesn't stop them being GORGEOUS though.
Windsor Smith Gillie Suede Tie up peep toe shoes £87.50
And the ones which do it for me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE these.
Daisy Street Black lace up peep toe shoe boots £34.99
Very similar to my Zara leopard print ones (in fact, I could just try them... but there's too much flesh exposed between the laces - needs to be more covered. Scrap that idea) With bare feet though - these are divine.
ASOS Ellery Mae Lace up shoe boots £45
White double layer shirt - Me+Em
Grey Baxter jeans - Topshop
Black pleather jacket - ASOS
Superstar sneakers - Golden Goose
Black Mario bag - Jerome Dreyfuss
And today - boy did we get rained on. I thought it would be an excellent idea to go for a long walk, not quite anticipating how much it was raining. Displaying true Dunkirk spirit for 45 mins and then appreciating that pneumonia wasn't going to be fun for anyone and even though our top halves were bone dry, our legs did look rather like we'd been wading in the sea. Walk abandoned and we went home to change.
Rain stopped (sod's law or what) so after a trip out for cake and hot choc, the 10yr old and I went shopping. No I haven't got any make up on.
Black Mario bag - Jerome Dreyfuss
We're off out for some supper but I'll be back tomorrow with a wardrobe favourite I haven't explored in a while.