When Boho goes bad....

Does it ever happen to you, that in your head, there is a look that you have your heart set on, that will be simply perfect?

Except when you get round to trying it on... hmm, maybe not so perfect.  Maybe downright hideous?

This is the story of me and the Boho dress.

Which I had honestly thought would work.  I lamented last year at all the fabulous Mango numbers that people were swanning around with their tanned limbs and flatties, whilst they barely covered my bum cheeks.  (I know I shouldn't moan about being tall, but when every dress you try on = flashing your topiary at the masses, then yes, I shall moan.  MORE FABRIC PLEASE) 

So I was nearly overjoyed when I spied a couple early season (ridiculously early season but we all know, it's the early worm that catches the trend..) Boho style dresses that I thought I could stock up on and beat the masses. 

Until I tried them on.  Right.  Well.  To cut a long story short, these suck on me.  They are bad.  They are very very bad indeed.  I won't like - I thought I could pull these off.  Well.  I can't. 

I look like a total tool in them.  I don't know if it's that they're too young looking (I would never have though a boho dress could be *that* mutton but go figure - I clearly have a knack of lowering them to that level), if they're totally the wrong shape for me (which clearly they are) or whether they're just too short (again, check).  To be honest, it's probably a mix of all three which put together, equal a disaster.  

Rather gutted to be honest, as I thought with glads or sliders, these would be fab for the warmer Summer months.  But there is no amount of styling in the world, I have accepted, that is going to make these babies work on me. 

Starting in Next where I picked up this beauty.  On the hangar it is a beauty.  On me.... (and if anyone needed proof that I don't have botox....)

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I have just spent the best part of half an hour trawling through the Next website (is there any brand they don't sell by now - note to Next - you are becoming as irritating to shop at as M&S online... and that's going some.  Although I did find a couple of gems to bring you shortly...) and I simply cannot find this.  Under the categories of dress, top, shirt, blouse, beach etc, white, cream, boho, folk, blah blah, can't find it to link to - give up.  Which is a shame as it did look super promising on the hangar. 

However I think I did have more success with this one.  Probably as it's not really boho and more of a shirt dress but the closer fit was definitely a much better option.   A much better length as well (please do excuse my pasty legs.  Barf)




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The changing rooms at Zara were the next venue for the 10th circle of boho hell.

This is what I had thought would look amazing on....



Erm...

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Now in a way I'm sort of vaguely pleased this looked like a bag of spanners on me as it will be everywhere.  I can guarantee you everyone will have this.  Apart from me.  Oh I did so want to like it, I even did the whole work it pose but nah.  I look ridiculous.  I appreciate the gratuitous popsock isn't doing the outfit any favours.  But still..... (and those sandals are a catastrophe of leg fat waiting to happen, no?  My money's on two rolled legs of pork rather than the legs of a model)





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Moving on to M&S now, I didn't have time to try it on but I could see that on me, this was going to scream nightie.  Boy do I wish I could get away with this.  And there is currently 20% off dresses at M&S so go forth and shop.  I will definitely be back later in the week with a round up of more formal occasion dresses as I've had lots of requests and am in need of some myself. 


But in the meantime - if you can pull this off a) I'm supreme jealous and b) this is a great price for a beautiful quality dress - oh apparently it's a tunic.  It's a very long tunic then.....

Indigo Collection Embroidered Tencel Tunic was £45 now £36


Slightly less in your face boho with more of a tea dress twist to it - but this would be lovely in the Summer with some sandals - if it's a look that suits you..... 

Vintage Style Floral Tunic was £39.50 now £31.60



Mango have some gorgeous things in stock right now - personally I'm not convinced that their dresses are as good as they were last year, but they do bring out more stock all the time and we have only hit March (mind you, the sales are starting earlier and earlier so some June, we've now normally got Winter stock in.  Bonkers)

But seeing as on tall people, these are the equivalent of a vaguely oversized top, I can't say I'm too devastated.  However for those who are slightly shorter, these would be perfect.  

V-neckline boho dress from Mango £44.99



Ruffled hem dress from Mango £39.99 (do think I prefer the Next version for me though.. this one is definitely more boho than shirt dress I'd say)



Some full on boho at ASOS.  I'm not even going to try these and am drawing a line under the whole charade - I know that tops definitely work for me in this style so I shall fill my boots with those instead.  (which I will share, fear not) 

I so so want to be able to wear this. 

Glamorous Embroidered lace up dress with fluted sleeves £36


Glamourous mosaic print swing dress with tassel tie £30


A couple that are more expensive but if you love these (and for sure, some people do look amazing in them - even if you're not Sienna Miller or Kate Moss...) then you can wear them loads and I don't think they ever really go out of fashion. 

Maison Scotch Signature Dress in Print with a tie waist £90


Lastly there is one that I have high hopes for.  I'm not loving the fact it's £160 but if it looks as amazing on as it does in my head (there is precedent for this going very wrong by the way...) then I would get loads of wear out of it.  However I am not holding my breath... funny that.

Somerset by Alice Temperley Tie Waist Tile dress  £160


Finishing with my outfits from the last couple of days - apologies for having not been around.  I had a very belated birthday party last night with all our school friends so have spent the past two days cooking for 36.  Middle Eastern theme from my two new favourite cookbooks.  Not difficult but I totally underestimated how time consuming it would be.  Duh.  Great night was had by all - so great, I totally forgot to do an outfit pic.  (I wore the old Isabel Marant dress and blouse combo - an old favourite that was perfect for the occasion with good old M&S suede shoe boots)

But from the other day.

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Oversized jumper - H&M
Black skinnies - Cos
Diego bag - Alexander Wang
Buckle boots - Toga Pulla 

And this is from date night with The Husband on Thursday for the comedy night at our local theatre.  A sneak preview of a new shirt I managed to snaffle on Thursday - smash and grab shopping at its best.  

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Silky cream shirt - Zara
Indigo Baxters - Topshop
Black Tuxedo jacket - Hush
Leopard print scarf - Louis Vuitton
Whiskey Medium Marcie satchel - Chloe
Tan cut out boots - Boden

Very relaxed evening ahead with The Voice and a chinese.  I love staying in on Saturday nights!

Have you thought yet about your Summer look?  One sniff of sunshine and I am itching to get into more Spring like clothes.  Does the boho look work for you?  If so, share your secret! 

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CONVERSATION

46 comentarios:

  1. I'm with you on the boho look Kat, just looks stupid on me. I think some of us are supposed to be clean lines girls!

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    1. I really thought I could rock it.... Oh LORDY thank goodness I sussed that one early on in the season - back to the drawing board...! Yes, I do love clean lines but i've had my head totally turned by the Boho. Need to turn it back quickly!

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  2. I'm totally with you on this! Can never work out why I look ridiculous in boho!? Even the tops I struggle with; in my head it looks fab! Lisax

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    1. I think I can do tops *ok* but now I'm doubting that too.....!

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  3. I am totally with you looks awful on me. I did buy a couple of tops from Boden last year when feeling adventurous but remained unworn, maybe I will be braver this year.

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    1. Definitely try different bottoms with them maybe?

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  4. I think the proportions are very difficult, and which you usually get right. That embroidered top is stunning, but it would actually be very difficult to wear. Not into the whole Isabel Marant vibe. Xx

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    1. I usually love the Marant look but it doesn't love me back quite so much! And yes, you're absolutely right, the proportions in a dress are wrong on me, combined with the fabric and the cut....

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  5. I was so looking forward to you totally rocking the boho look! I really love to see it but it is most definitely not for anyone with more than a hint of boobage - IMHO of course! ;)
    Oh and btw, I'm with you about the Next website (and directory) being full of non-Next clothes! Why??? If I want something by Joules or Lipsy or who the hell ever, I'll go & look on their websites, it drives me mental!! Please stop Next, Grrrrr........ Xx

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    1. I will try and channel it in a different way - I won't be defeated just yet..... And god the Directory is SO irritating.

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  6. Just loved the faces you have pulled lol xx

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    1. Believe me, they were the best of a bad bunch.....

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  7. Now boho I can do, it's 'polished' that I have a problem with! I reckon that last dress will really suit you, funnily enough when I saw it, the shape reminded me of the Marant top/skirt combo you mentioned in the next paragraph.

    I'm particularly loving your face in the Zara red dress, it's not so different from the one my 7 year old pulls every time I ask her to do just about anything...xx

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    1. I will try the dress but I don't think it's as drop waisted as my other combo.... yes, the face was vaguely reminiscent of one of my small ones too!!

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  8. I have also had this problem and I suggest the issue is one of fabric. When the dress or peasant top is made of cotton it works. But all these synthetic fabrics just look cheap. I refused to buy any boho that wasn't natural fabric last year - after all who wants to swelter in nylon when the heatwave is on? Hx

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    1. I think you're right but for me, I think it's the weight of the fabric. Even the cotton cheesecloth is just too floaty and I'm too tall to make this look cute and gamine. It just looks crap!! Dimensions and the weight of the fabric and cut of the dresses are all wrong. Moving it along here.....

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  9. I have the M&S vintage floral dress and it's lovely.I wear it with navy leggings, navy cardigan and knee length boots.would team with sandals if I had your legs!

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    1. Oh that's lovely to hear, I bet you'll get loads of wear out of it in the Summer. Xxxx

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  10. Hilarious! I think it's because some of them are just too shapeless. They look a bit Wee Willy Wink on (me), whereas a boho/gypsy top can be balanced out with jeans or shorts etc. I find them too girly/pretty for me and need toughening up a bit.

    I definitely need to dilute the boho vibe, as it can be quite fussy. I need some clean lines too.

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    1. It's definitely the proportions in a dress that are wrong for me, you're right - it needs balancing with shorts or jeans. I can't do too much fussy either. x

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  11. I tried on the top version of that Zara boho dress, but I kid not, I got my boobs stuck!! Just managed to get it off without ripping it... Needless to say I have my reservations about being able to pull off the BoHo look ! it seems whether your flat chested or fuller in the bust it's a tricky look

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    1. Now you see I got the top version and I LOVE it!! But then I have ZERO boobs. (and I got it in the large...)

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  12. Loving the boho look but same as you can't pull it off. Will keep hunting for the perfect spring/summer dress. Cooking for 36 how clever. What are the two cookery books? I'm into Deliciously Ella and Hemsley Hemsley and Yotam Plenty More. at the moment.

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    1. Yes, I need to get both of those books - I've cooked recipes from magazines and they've been great. Must get them. My two books are Persiana and Honey & Co. Both Middle Eastern but both very different. Great for big groups x

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    2. I love both of those books, and the Honey & Co restaurant is fab.

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    3. and the Zara cream dress looked utter pants on me too!

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  13. Can I add a warning of WIND. These really floaty unstructured ones, esp with the drop waists should not be worn without something sturdy underneath... I did the school run in something this shape last Spring and the whole world saw my pants. Several times. It was the same shape as the Mango ruffled hem one you featured. And we have since parted company as it immediately went to the big pile marked 'charity'

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    1. Too. Funny. And yes, excellent EXCELLENT point. As if I needed another point to say NAY, I now have one. Thank you xxx

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  14. I just look pregnant when I wear these Earth Mother boho dresses. I have the unfortunate holiday snaps to prove it! Unless you're running into the wind, hrough a wheat field with your best friend, wearing a big floppy hat and sunglasses (like a Chloe ad) these are hard to pull off.

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  15. kat, was it you who was after navy skater shoes? http://www.next.co.uk/clearance/?r=cs#%2Fsearch%3Fp%3DQ%26ts%3Dvision%26cnt%3D24%26isort%3Dscore%26nxti%3D0%26nxtv%3D000%26sale%3DOFFERSNEW%26pfg%3D0FF3R5001%26images%3Don%26w%3Dborg+skaters+%26description%3Dborg+skaters%26af%3D%26size2%3D%26desprice%3D

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    1. Thank you so much - I've tried those but the blue was a bit felty (it being felt......) and it wasn't a true navy, it was sort of a royal blue.... They just didn't work for me and weren't a patch on last season's leather ponyskin ones I have. The grey ones actually look loads better!

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  16. If you can't do it Kat, then I definitely can't! I think it is indeed about proportions. Too floaty + too short = preggy dress or dress for 18 year old uni student. However the Next shirt dress one was actually rather nice on you - the shirt element just takes it to a more structured level. Have you seen the maxi shirt dresses from Mango? There are two I love - one in a mid-wash denim tencel, the other in navy viscose. Now o reckon they would look fab on you (and me - I hope!)

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    1. Now I am planning on exploring maxi dresses as I know people love them and yes, I used to wear them but I simply can't these days. Don't know why - I have lots which I must sell . I think it's because I've discovered my legs and are desperate to get as many years out of them before gravity finally takes its toll!!

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    2. I agree with you up to a point - also am not a huge maxi dress fan but these are different - being shirt dresses and with a 70s vibe xx

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    3. I have an obsession with getting my legs out before they're too decrepit...!!

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  17. I agree, you can do so much better. They would be even worse on me with boobs and chunky thighs. Boho necklaces, tops, bags, shoes will be your friends though, or even the right maxi skirt. I don't know if you have seen " offspring" an Aussie TV show- the main character NIna rocks boho in a funky modern and adult way.

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    1. I do think yes, they do work better if you are petite and gamine!. I haven't seen that show, I will have to track it down, thank you xxx

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  18. Oh no to boho, I did that get that Marant dupe dress from Mango last year that you blogged about and love it but step away from the ruffles and flounces , I have. Deep fear of per uno for that reason

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    1. Ha ha ha ha!!!! I have to say I always shudder when I find something in Per Una I like, but I do think they may have ditched the frilly filly edges...(and coloured buttons - why would you do that??!)

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  19. You are not really selling them to us are you. I am laughing SO much. I would look a spoon in them too. Thank you Kat. xx

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    1. Something for us to save money on. YES!

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  20. Flashing your topiary, dying laughing over here. I love the Isabel Marant / Mexican embroidery boho style shift dresses. I think the key for me is to go sleeveless so there's less volume all-over. I've had excellent luck with Forever 21 (surprisingly & very recently added 2 more boho dresses) and Madewell (bought a beautiful linen number last summer). You could try a boho-ish pattern like ikat or do a boho statement necklace with a loose-fitting top or dress.

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    1. ooh forever21, great shout, I'll have a look next time i'm in there. I got some great Marant style trousers in there the other year. xx

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  21. I have a sneaky cheeky question for you Kat.
    You know how you're quite tall?
    Could you persuade an friend of a shorter stature to go shopping with you and both try on the same dress in the same pic?
    I'm not being weird or anything am I? its just being tall myself I'd like to see how clothes compare!
    Lu xx

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    1. Ha ha - the chances of a friend of mine doing that are exceptionally low, but I will ask!

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