and obviously there isn't a ripped knee in sight.
I'm not sure whether I should be over the moon or slightly depressed at the realisation that some of the best skinny jeans to fit me are from, yes, good old M&S. Actually I'm going with impressed, as they do seem finally to be taking a step forward.
Of course, this is swiftly followed by two steps back, as locating the exact thing that you want, either in your size online or in the quagmire of confusion that they call a store, would have made a great challenge on the Krypton Factor or The Crystal Maze (the clue is in the name of the blog - yes I am that old)
Even Vogue have assured us that M&S have turned a corner and I absolutely concur that there are some of the best bargains on the high street to be had.
It's just a question of locating them. But fear not, when it comes to jeans, I have yet again turned myself into a sweaty mess, breaking nails and generally cussing like a navvy in the changing rooms to bring you the best jeans they have to offer.
And they were worth all the pain. I can honestly say I think I may have found the perfect pair of skinny jeans..... for £35. Even the grey works if you can possibly believe it? And it's a pale grey. For a grey to look good - a pale grey that normally turns my legs instantly into elephantine wrinkles - these must be doing something right.
To be honest, this isn't even a great picture but I urge you to try them if you haven't found any you like.
M&S Skinny fit sculpt & lift jeans £35
Now on the perhaps downside (this depends where you sit on the jeans front - whether you like a classic denim and prefer a selection of colours - I happen to be a dyed in the wool denim coloured denim girl) they don't have that many different washes.
Having said that, this one looks great for a Spring wardrobe.
Sculpt & Lift skinny jeans in light indigo £35
However I am going to throw the cat amongst the pigeons and say that there is another pair which I think are almost as good - there really is merely a whisker between them. The above are a thicker fabric, of that there's no denying and I assume that's why they are the extra money.
5 Pocket Denim Jeggings £22.50 in Indigo Blend
These are more and they only come in one leg length but they are excellent too - are they worth the extra money - well, can you see any real difference?
Cotton Rich Sculpt & Lift High Waist Jeggings £39.50
Also an excellent buy in the black. Super flattering. Also £39.50
So yes, I was on a skinny jeans mission but I was very seduced by this pic from Vogue. I simply love the pockets on the front and whilst we've established I really don't need another pair of flared jeans, I thought I'd just better try these for research purposes.
Limited Edition True 70's Kick Flare Jeans £35
And I have to say they are an amazing fit. This is the 10 Long and obviously it's not long enough for me to wear with heels. However.... however however however, I am vaguely tempted to attempt to wear these with my (just ordered as they literally sell them NOWHERE, not even the adidas shop) navy Stan Smiths. (even though I think I might have ordered the wrong size. I tried the black ones on which they had in JD Sports - yes, I went into JD Sports. Which was an experience. And they looked like canoes on my feet in the 7s but they didn't have them in a 6.5. And they didn't even sell navy. The white ones though, were absolutely fine in the 7. This is going to end in tears, I can tell)
I wonder..... thoughts with flats? Ignore the mustard top which did an amazing job of making me look like a freshly plucked anaemic chicken. The jeans people, the jeans.