And my dead sheep this season, is the print jean. Oh how I've tried. I love them, I really really do. Just not actually on my legs. And as they're meant to be worn and not just sit in my wardrobe as trouser art, I've accepted it's a one sided relationship. They really do me no favours at all and I'm having to kick them gently to the curb. I've tried to shoehorn them into my wardrobe and my lifestyle but it's most definitely square peg round hole territory.
Certain things have led me to this juncture - one being that as much as I don't think they look too bad on, I just don't feel comfortable in them. Strike one. Secondly I saw a girl the other day in a pair and she looked just fantastic. She had on a pair of floral print jeans (from Zara), a striped shirt, an oversized chunky knit cardigan and a tartan scarf. Honestly she was the epitome of cool. And of course she was about 12. Ok so maybe 16 but not a day over 18, guaranteed. Were I to have donned said attire, chances of me getting carted off by the men in white coats? Middling to high. Like a smack in the face, I realised that I was having another inner Alexa moment. Regardless of how much I love a trend, at sniffing 40, there are some things that just aren't going to work. Strike two.
Of course, it still didn't stop me going to Primark today and trying on every pair of print jeans they had in the shop. All of which still gave me that same dodgy children entertainer's look (not that there is anything wrong at all with being a children's entertainer - hell it's certainly not a job I could do without being arrested after 20 mins - but I think we can safely agree that the attire they wear, probably isn't something you'd choose for lunch out with the girls. Or ever for that matter.) I came away empty handed (although truth be known, if the beige leopard print jeans had been in my size, I think I would have caved. But that's hardly branching out into the scary realms of proper full on print + colour.)
I will also admit to a sneaky My Wardrobe order of the most beautiful print J Brand jeans. So gorgeous, I was prepared to pay £240 for them.
I had great hope for them on ordering, although I should have seen the writing on the wall with the debacle that was purely the purchasing of them. Two pairs, so a not small sum (but not that big - I've certainly spent more) that my credit card company had an issue with and referred me to the fraud department. Which = complete disaster as I was trying to sneakily order them whilst The Husband was having a shower, he then comes back and asks who am I bellowing at on the phone, I then had to explain, he wanted to see what I was buying and nearly had an apoplectic fit at me spending close to £500 on the offending items above. Suffice to say he's not a fan of the print jean. Made for an interesting evening's conversation. I "may" have said that it was all for research purposes and of course I never had any intention of keeping them..... They were clearly never meant to be, were they?)
Anyway I had envisaged a little off white silky/jersey shell top and blush coloured blazer for the onslaught of smart events I have - anything to get me out of the black hole that is The Dress (there will be more on that in the coming days.) I even thought with a white vest top and my blush sequin loose blazer from Zara for a couple of big parties I have over the summer. Yeah right. That will be a no then. Big Fail. They looked no better on that the Primark ones, despite me still loving the pattern and the colour. Maybe in a cushion.
The last reason that I've accepted they're just my mutton moment of the season, is that I can't put them together in an outfit that I love. Which has the potential to bring Bob out of hibernation and have me charging round the High Street and dangerously roaming loose with card on the internet, desperately purchasing a massive pile of tut to go with them, in the vague hope that I will be able to channel the print jean. Nah. I'm waving the white flag and I'm admitting defeat. Strike three and I'm out.
I fear I am so scarred by the amount of colour that has adorned my legs in changing rooms and from the sea of bags and boxes that cover the bed in the spare room, I shall also not be joining the coloured jean party either. I shall make do with the raspberry numbers I have and retreat back into my hole of more muted, uninspiring wardrobe shades. That's not to say I don't think coloured jeans are a mutton item. Not at all and not in the slightest. I think they look fantastic on - this is just my realisation that my comfort zone is in a much duller place. There are lots of other fashion trends which I think one can cherry pick from - statement jewellery for example, texture (jacquard, coated trousers etc), the wedge trainer - but I'm coming to the conclusion that, at a certain age and with a certain lifestyle, it's quite difficult, and certainly not cost effective short or long term, to do more than a couple of trends at a time. It's more about being comfortable with the style you have, developing a good quality wardrobe with longevity and adding in the couple of relevant fashion trends which work for you.
Which sounds to me like I need to go shopping again. That has to be the best thing about doing this blog. I always manage to talk myself into needing to go shopping. Genius, if I do say so myself.
Just quickly following on from yesterday, in case anyone was losing sleep over the thought of a drunk Oompa Loompa loose on the town, an overwhelming thumbs up to the new fake tan I used. Vita Liberata Mousse, from Boots. Clearly I put it on like a chimpanzee with boxing gloves and so it's ever so slightly crap in certain areas but that is definitely the workman and not the tools. Really pleased with the colour, lack of odour and ease to apply. So here's me looking less like Caspar, last night and today.
Off white cowl neck Renoir top - FCUK
Black coated zip bottom skinnies - Cos
Pearly Queen style jacket - Phase Eight
Black stilettos - Zara
Bone necklace - Mango
Tan De Manta clutch - Alexander McQueen
Black & off white striped jumper - Joseph
Black skinnies - Cos
Cream swing cardigan - Goat
Black suede and patent ballet pumps - Banana Republic
Fabulous Finches scarf - Mulberry
Black patent and gold stud Tilly bag - Jaeger
Right, stealth hangover has finally got the better of me - off to chow down on a kebab that The Husband has just bought home. The eptiome of class.