And life goes on.

Firstly, apologies for having not been around since Tuesday.  I wasn't going to post on Wednesday as I was going to Bicester and was out in the evening but had planned to work on Thursday.  

Alas, on Thursday late afternoon, I received the news that my mum had suddenly passed away.  A complete shock and we're still waiting to find out what happened but we did learn that she had a heart condition she didn't want the family to know about.  She was also starting to become forgetful, repeating things in conversation and forgetting birthdays which she never never ever ever did. 

It was very sudden and still seems surreal but I'm taking comfort in knowing that she didn't suffer and it was, by all accounts, quick.  She would have absolutely hated being ill for a long period of time and was always terrified of the onslaught of dementia as she watched her mother suffer and deteriorate with the disease for years.  So I'm counting our blessings, even if I wish I had got to say goodbye.  We may not have always seen eye to eye and by god she irritated me at times but I was not the perfect daughter, of that I'm sure and she did, under her often brusque exterior, have a complete heart of gold and was exceptionally dear to me. 

At least now, I get to speak to her every day and so far, she's not disagreed with me at all...!  She even helped find me a parking space earlier on so thank you Mum, I love you and I miss you. 

However life does go on - yesterday I carried on with an all day film shoot for a project with Lexus I was invited to work on and it was the best thing to be busy and occupied.  With people I don't really know as well.  I'm not great with public displays of affection at the best of times and people I know and love being nice to me, I've learnt, is likely to set me off. 

And today, I've been to the park with the dog, taken the boys to football, had coffee with my best friend and had a good old cry. 

So with an hour to spare before Mass, I thought I'd finish the post I did start earlier in the week, meant for Thursday, whilst I was in the mood (although please do excuse any typos as my brain has turned slightly to mush).

This week I discovered the perfect quick fix for an old out out outfit.  That outfit you've relied on for years but have maybe worn once too often and it really needs a bit of a lift?

All hail the skinny scarf.  I know I'm ridiculously late to this - as per usual, it takes me longer than your average 26yr old to embrace all things new and up to date - but at last, I've decided this is The thing for us to wear this season. 

It was this picture that I found somewhere that made me think - oh yesh.  Oh yesh oh yesh oh yesh.  I'm loving a bit of androgyny this season and seeing as Helena Christiansen and I am practically one and the same (snort), I thought this would be an ideal addition to my wardrobe.

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I have a cream silk scarf (I think...) and this with wide leg cropped trousers and a blazer, or even better, leather leggings or coated skinnies and stilettos will just be the perfect out out up to date for thruppence ha'penny option.


Love the grey underside to this scarf.  For £3. That's about as much as a coffee (unless you get yours free in Waitrose like me or have a Nespresso...*punches air*. Top tip - Ristretto Espresso pods from Lidl.  £1.79 for 10).

Pieces Riola Skinny Scarf in two tone was £8 now £3



There are also print versions as well which would really lift a plain black outfit.  Or how about ringing the changes during the day with a white shirt (tee in the Spring) with a blazer and jeans.  A more on trend version of a preppy look for a bargain price (did I mention I might be thinking about Spring).

Pieces Spot Skinny Scarf was £8 now £4




Red spots at Topshop £12.00



This one is an amazing lift for a plain outfit if you don't want to go all out Christmas sparkle.  A nod to the theme with a scarf is an exceptionally easy and cost effective way to add sequins.

ASOS Skinny sequin scarf was £12.00 now £4.50



Similar at Topshop but with a more subtle velvet background. 

Velvet Skinny Sequin Scarf £12



Plain black sequins at New Look £5.99 (have to say I'm not loving it with just the cami... It looks less night out and more that she couldn't be bothered to get changed out of her nightie.)




A similar option at M&S in their jewellery section.  This is a scarf/necklace thingy.  Isn't one or the other but would work in place of either - tis a scarf necklace by all accounts.  And all jewellery at M&S is buy one get one half price. 

Skinny bugle scarf necklace in blue mix £12.50



Very similar but in silver tones, is the Chevron Skinny Scarf from Per Una at M&S £18 which also comes under the same jewellery offer. 




But personally I went for plain black.  Mine is completely plain but with I have to say I'm now hankering after one with fringing.

Monki Skinny Scarf £10




This is the one I went for from Topshop. 

Super skinny scarf £10



Similar at M&S and fabulous if you can find some gifts to make up the offer with.

Skinny Scarf from M&S £12.50 (now on offer on 3 for 2)




Also available in a rust again on offer £12.50.


So in the end, I went with a sheer sleeved top I picked up months ago from Zara and hadn't worn (I wasn't sure about it and still am not really sure but I didn't have time to iron a blouse as I had 10 mins turn around time after Bicester).

Photo from Wednesday night. (to say I'm not looking quite so good at the moment.  Eyes like pee holes in the snow would be a slight understatement)

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Black top with sheer sleeves - Zara
Black coated jeans - New Look 
Black scarf - Topshop
Black shoe boots - M&S 
Black clutch bag - Coccinelle 

I am going to carry on posting as often as I can as the best distraction I have at the moment is thinking about anything but mum.  Allowing myself time to grieve as well but at the minute, I'm just taking each day at a time. 

Thank you to everyone who has commented over on Instagram and Twitter.  Hugely overwhelmed at the support and beyond grateful.  Thank you xx


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97 comentarios:

  1. Love the skinny scarf..love a sequin..and sending love to you and yours Kat xxx

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  2. Oh Kat, I'm so sorry. I was going to send you a message as I thought something must have happened as you normally post so regularly. Im sure I'm like many of your regular readers although I've never met you I love keeping up to date with your blog and just want to send you best wishes. I lost my mum when I was pregnant and the shock of it never goes away but the pain does ease. Look after yourself. Best wishes, Rachel McT.

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  3. Both my parents had terrible dementia that broke my heart and went on for years. I wish to God they'd gone suddenly. Small mercies. It's raw at the moment, but I promise you it gets better. It really does. Xx

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    1. This is what I'm definitely consoling myself with at the moment. My grandmother had dementia for years and I know it broke my mum's heart. She definitely wouldn't have wanted that x

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  4. I am so, so sad for you Kat. Sending you virtual hugs. xxxxxx

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  5. So sorry for your loss - greif is a strange thing we all find different ways af getting through the dark days - big hugs x

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    1. I've been told that there are no rules when it comes to grief. This definitely helped me when I lost my Dad 5 years ago.

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  6. So sorry for your loss Kat. Thinking of you x

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  7. You're a star - life goes on and you are being very strong. The grieving process will take time but you are digging deep and finding the courage for your family. Much admiration for you. What a lovely person you are. And love your post by the way too. xx

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    1. Well thank you. Just taking it each day at a time xxxx

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  8. I'm so sorry.
    No matter what the circumstances, we're never ready for the shock of losing a parent.
    Be good to yourself.

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    Replies
    1. This is so very true. You know it will happen one day but not as soon as it does x

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  9. Look after yourself and do whatever it takes to deal with this. Sending best wishes and strength at a sad time. Xx

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    1. Thank you (I'm assuming that doesn't stretch to letting myself loose on the Matches website with a credit card and a bottle of wine?!) xxx

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  10. Kat, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I lost my mum a couple of years ago and miss her every day and even more so at times like Christmas. Be kind to yourself in the coming months, there will be plenty more tears but you have a lovely family and hugs from them will keep you strong. I love your blog and look forward to a daily fix. It's your writing as well as all the fashion tips that have earned you so many followers. Sending love xx

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    1. Thank you for your lovely words xxxx

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  11. Sad and sorry, look after yourself and hug the kids tight. Really enjoy your blog x

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  12. So very sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you and your family. Take care, Oonagh

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  13. So sorry to hear your sad news, Kat. I hope you're surrounded by lots of friends and loved ones right now. Here's a virtual hug from a virtual friend. X

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    1. I am incredibly lucky to have an amazing circle of friends and a great family. Thank you xxxxx

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  14. Your spirit & resolve is amazing & the Lexus film shoot sounds an amazing distraction. Look forward to seeing you on a prime time telly advert soon! Have always thought you should have your own reality TV show & I'm sure you'll be approached some time soon. Keep flying high. x
    Anon of Kent.
    x

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    1. I think I love you! It was the most amazing experience (although alas, not on a prime time telly advert.. think more You Tube!) xx

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  15. Wish you long life and keeping busy can be the thing to do. Always love reading your posts but take time off if you need it - we all will understand xxxx

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    1. Thank you. Keeping busy is the best distraction for now. xxx

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  16. Have read your blog for years now Kat and always meant to comment on how fab, funny and fantastic you and your writing are/is. And one day I will. But for now sending you sympathy and very best wishes for this horrible time. Take care of yourself.

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  17. I'm so sorry to hear your about your mum - can't imagine how difficult things must be for you right now - look after yourself xxx
    Linda

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  18. So so sorry about your mum. Our mums are precious. Mine was ill last year and I am so grateful she made it through. I call her every day. Keep talking to your mum, I'm sure she can hear you.

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    1. And keep talking to us here, we are listening. xx

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    2. I so so so wish I'd called her every day. x

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    3. Actually she would have driven me NUTS! x

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  19. Thinking of you. Please take care. xxxx

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  20. Love the skinny scarf, was just thinking about making a purchase today! Thanks for making my mind up for me yet again!
    Lost my dad 4 years ago and I think about him every single day. Your mum will be with you forever xx

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    1. You're so right. It's not goodbye. And the skinny scarf is such an easy win to transform an old outfit. Enjoy xxx

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  21. My deepest condolences Kat, I am so so sorry for your tremendous loss. Sending my best wishes to you and your family.

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  22. I have the black velvet scarf from Topshop, it's a godsend and adds that something to.your outfit. They also do an amazing blue sequinned ( which I.believe my mum has bought me as a stocking filler) speaking of mum's I am so very, very sad to.hear about the passing of yours. My Mum has not been welk for the past 3 years but I am so lucky because she is still here. Time is a great healer and I hope that you find the.strength to get through the Next few weeks... Keep strong, keep cuddling your boys X

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    1. Blue sequin sounds gorgeous. And thank you. Keeping busy and my friends and family will help xxx

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  23. So very sorry. Lots of love. Jill x

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  24. So sorry for you loss Kat, its one of those moments we all dread. Never easy, time does help eventually. xx

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    1. You know it's going to come one day but nothing can prepare you for it. I'm sure that time is the only healer. x

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  25. My condolences to you and your family xx

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  26. Hugs to you Kat, and your family xx
    Love a skinny scarf, I have a Paisley silk one from Topshop 20 yrs ago in the sale, I want a black one now, take care lovely xx

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    1. OMG 20 yrs ago, that's fabulous. And thank you xxx

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  27. Oh, Kat, I'm so sorry to hear that. Thinking of you.

    The skinny scarves look great.

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    1. Thank you. I've got a couple of old shirts it will make such a different to x

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  28. So sorry to hear your sad news. x

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  29. I was upset to read your sad news over on Insta Kat - thinking of you and your family but happy to see you blogging and looking fab! Keri xxx

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  30. Lots of love to you, Kat xxx

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  31. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. I know nothing I can say will make it any easier, but I am thinking of you. Look after yourself and your family. xx

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  32. So sorry to hear about the sudden passing of your mother and sending you sincere condolences and love xx

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  33. Dear Kat, I know you don't know me but I feel like you're a good friend. I absolutely love sitting down with a coffee when the kids are occupied (bribed with chocolate) and having a good old read, laugh and spend!! I think you're fabulous and I've never commented before but hearing of your such sad news I wanted to say how very sorry I am and that I will be thinking of you and will light a candle for you. I hope you are ok and I'm sure your family and friends will be everything you need right now. Keep blogging as I don't know how I'd cope without my fix ;) look after yourself. Might see you in bluey one day! Take care xxx

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    1. So touched to read your lovely words, thank you so so so much. And yes do say hello in bluey xxx

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  34. I think this outfit is really lovely Kat. The Zara top is beautiful. I wish I had killer arms like yours to show off!
    Take care of yourself and let others take care of you too. Much love.

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    1. I think you'll find it's a flattering pose and sheer can be much more flattering than you think! Thank you xxx

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  35. Dear Kat, I am so sorry for your loss. This must be devastating. I am thinking of you. Big hug. x

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  36. My Dad can sort out parking spaces too!!!!! A handy contact to have I always think.
    He died 4 years ago and it's still shit. I'm not sure it gets 'easier' as much as it gets 'less sharp' each morning. Big hugs, am so glad she didn't suffer xx

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    1. YAY! She did it today in M&S. Bless her. And yes, a great contact to have, for sure. I keep going over and over and over the phonecall but like you say, it will get less sharp. xxx

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  37. The sadness is overwhelming at this time, but you wll manage! Words become meaniningless. Big hug and love to you and yours
    Tx

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  38. Am so sorry to read about the loss of your mother - must have been such a shock. Thinking of you. X

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  39. I am so very sorry to hear this. I adore your blog and am sending a huge glass of virtual chardonnay and posh crisps xxxx

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    1. Well that sounds perfect. Thank you xxx

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  40. Hi Kat,

    I discovered your blog a year or so ago when I was looking for some tan boots and dmbl40 came up in the search results.

    I've just scrolled through this after a couple of busy weeks whilst making dinner, and whilst I've never commented before (I don't think?!), I just wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear of your sad news. I actually have a little tear in my eye-my beloved granny also had Alzheimer's. As you say, she would be horrified to know that her last few years were spent as they were-she was never without her lippy and heels! I'm glad you are taking some comfort from the fact that your lovely mum didn't have to go through that or suffer. I'm so so sorry-thinking of you. Great to know you are keeping busy and have lots of support.

    You are beautiful and stylish, and obviously a fantastic mother (my teaching specialism is SEN, so a cause close to my heart too), and I believe you don't live far from me. Think I will be a bit star struck if I ever see you in TW!

    Thinking of you, and sending big hugs. Lots of love, Kirsty xx

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    1. Kirsty thank you so so much for your lovely comments. I am doing well actually and I think the main reason is that I feel so much relief that my mum didn't suffer and went with (most of .... we;ve learnt some things since she passed..!) her dignity intact.

      I head to TW quite a lot (huge Juliet's fan and also a complete Ilse Jacobsen devotee, not to mention Mark Maynard) so do just tap me on the shoulder if you ever see me xxxxx

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  41. Dear Kat,
    Be kind to yourself and do what ever helps, I'm a great believer in distraction in the face of grief but everyone has to do what works for them, on their timetable. When my father died suddenly at 63 it was a shock but in a way it was a great comfort that he went quickly. We always said he would have been a bad "sick" person, he had neither the patience or the disposition for decrepitude. People thought we were joking, but it was the truth. Wishing you and your family all the best.

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  42. I'm so sorry about your mum. How shocking for you. Do what you need to do and be kind to yourself. You may want the distraction one day and run from it the next; you don't owe anyone anything here. xxx

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  43. So glad to hear you are coping so well Kat-what a strong lady you must be. Very hard at this time of year and with small children to stay upbeat for too, but well done you. It was Elizabeth Powell's comment above that really resonated-lovely words.

    As you say, knowing your mum didn't suffer is indeed a positive amidst this sad situation. No doubt you will all be raising a glass to her and reminiscing about some happy memories over Christmas!

    I will indeed say hi if I see you! Sending you lots of love and thoughts for a happy Christmas and positive start to 2016. Lots of love xx

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Whoops, sorry-this was supposed to be a reply to my above comment from a few days ago! Not very good with technology!xx

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