Two birds, one stone

So, up my sleeve I had planned, as I think I mentioned a week or so ago, a navy dress post.  For all those of you who have abandoned the harsh shade of black in favour of the "much more flattering for an old bird" navy. 

Well it so happens that I may well be in the market for a new dark dress to wear to my mum's funeral (which we're actually hoping will be after Christmas now.) and she would be over the moon to think that I've managed to find something constructive (in the loosest sense of the word I appreciate..) to occupy me whilst we wait for things to happen. 

When I'm waking up at 2am, 4am, 5.30am what am I thinking about to help me go back to sleep?  Why, what I'm going to wear to the funeral of course.  And having gone mentally through my wardrobe about 10 times, it occurred to me that maybe it doesn't have to be black black.  Of course it would be easiest thing in the world to justify the purchase now of a new black coat (you can see where this is going, can't you... yes there are more coat blogs to come) but at the same time, I have a rather great navy dress coat (which admittedly was only £20 from H&M but who cares, it's fabulous).  Therefore the purchase of a navy dress to go with said coat would make sense.  And navy is a dark colour ergo surely it's fine to wear to a funeral?  There's no law that it has to be black is there?

Plus a navy dress is a great addition to a wardrobe.  Like I said, they are much easier to wear against an ageing complexion (hell that makes us all sound geriatric, doesn't it?  Soz). 

I also love putting navy and black together.  However this made my mother's skin crawl.  It clearly was way too modern a concept for her and she used to sniff and suck her teeth whenever I tried to disabuse her of this notion.  Plus all her friends will no doubt think the same and she'd be mortified if they all thought I'd rocked up in something that didn't match.  (Isn't this the best justification you've ever heard for the purchase of a new dress or coat?! I'm sure I can squeeze some shoes in there as well if I really put my mind to it) 

Without further ado, let's have a look at some of the navy dresses I've unearthed. 

Starting with one you're going to have to de-party.  Or maybe not - with a navy frock coat, navy opaques and navy satin shoe boots... actually that's not going to work.  Navy head to foot is really hard.  And... well.. hmmm.... just not that great.  So I may have to throw my principles to one side and wear black opaques, black suede shoe boots (thank you M&S trusty old ones from last year which will be dragged out again) and a black clutch.  Maybe all of her friends have fading eye sight anyway? (Is that ok mum?)

This would also be an amazing dress to wear now for nights out (as above actually) or into the Spring.  I have yet another First Holy Communion (last one) and this would be marvellous with black sandals and bare legs (she says, ignoring the fact it's never actually been warm in June for either of the previous two).

Now lace isn't perhaps people's first thought when it comes to sombre but black lace is very Catholic.  (which I appreciate is not navy.....).  We just need to make sure no bare flesh in Church.  Easily done.

Navy lace Dress from The White Company with 30% off was £129 now £90.30


This one is just sublime.  Perfection with a capital P and look at the price!  I am ordering this in the interests of research.

Autograph Square Neck Lace Shift Dress was £89 now £62.30



A slightly different shape now with a fuller skirt and not as long but for me, the ones above pip it to the post.  However Gestuz is a gorgeous brand so it would be lovely and not quite as inferior quality as, dare I say it, it looks here (ASOS styling for you.  Not exactly aimed at the 40+ market but we have to have imagination).

Gestuz Claudia Dress in Navy Lace £119



Upping the ante now seeing as it's for a rather significant occasion and if the perfect dress came along, it is the ideal time to buy it.  So I took myself off to Selfridges "just to look"....

A hint of lace now in the yoke but this is a gorgeous dress.  With a plain navy coat, this could look perfectly sombre.  And would be a stunning party dress as well. 

Claudie Pierlot Ready Crepe Dress in navy £239 (handwash too!)




Jil Sander Short Sleeve Wool Blend Dress £390 from Selfridges  A complete classic.  I do think it needs a killer shoe.  Anything slightly more mundane and there's a risk of looking Amish.


More midi at Maje.  This is simply too gorgeous for words.  The Husband and I were due to be going to Selfridges on Wednesday which we may or may not do and I am so tempted to try this one on.  The fact I'd probably want to buy the boots as well is neither here nor there (or the above boots.  I'm not that fussy, I'd go either).

Romario Stretch Crepe Dress £315









I'm not going to lie with this one  Would I love it as much if it wasn't Sportmax?  Probably not.. Shallow shallow me.  Bet it looks amazing on though (and it would want to for nearly £500.  It would want to make tea as well). 

Sportmax Giotto Stretch Wool Peplum Dress in navy £470  (I'd want more oomphy shoes personally. Not necessarily, in face definitely not, for a funeral but if we're talking party..)



However there are definitely more reasonable and - dare I say it - eminently more wearable on an every day basis, dresses.  

In fact, top of my list for dresses that I have and could wear is my black Me+Em swing dress which I bought three years ago (and MUST go and get from the blasted dry cleaners...will probably wear on Saturday night to the School Ball that I think we'll still go to.  Seeing as I organised it I should probably go.  I'm thinking fringe Zara ankle boots.... But I digress.  This has been happening a lot.  More than usual.  Which is saying something).

Panelled Shift Dress in navy £135  Look at those OTK boots eyeing me up lasciviously. 



Another ideal option.

Tailored A Line Dress from Me+Em £135



And yet again.

Keyhole Swing Dress £165



Alternatively, this with a navy coat would be ideal for both a solemn occasion but also perfect for a night out.  Team with a knit and loafers for dress down during the day.  Would also make the ideal work dress as well.  It's not cheap but it's super versatile.  (ooh how about with top button undone, skinny silk scarf from the other day, black loose blazer and black heeled ankle boots.  Not for a funeral of course.. but as a pretty darn fabulous outfit?)

Printed Dropped Waist Silk Dress from Me+Em £248



A variation on the theme from Whistles. 

Side Drape Jersey Dress £95 (actually it's only £85 at ASOS)



And a couple of extras from ASOS.  

This is too short for me, I'm sure but if you're not as tall as I am, I think this would be a corker of a dress to have in your wardrobe. 

ASOS Tulip Dress £35 (they also do this in amazing red)



ASOS Knot Front Wiggle Dress in Crepe £45 



And the bargain of the day from ASOS. 

Love Wrap Front Midi Dress with Tulip Hem was £42 now £16.50



However if we're speaking of complete bargains, then my find of the day has to be the Jaeger Outlet.  Someone mentioned this in another post on the comments and I'll admit I had forgotten about it till I went to search Jaeger and Jaeger Outlet came up first on Google. Would have been rude not to have a quick look and holy nora there are some amazing steals on there.  Plus some have an extra 40% discount on check out. 

Heavy Ponte Dress in Midnight was £99 now £49 AND an extra 40% off.  Makes it much less.  Maths isn't happening today.  It basically makes it cheaper than a dress at Florence & Fred though. 




And if you thought that was a bargain... well ha. Think again. 

Silk Wool Lace Panelled Dress was £175 now £49 pre extra discount.  I absolutely love the addition of black to this and I'm thinking with my navy dress coat and black suede shoots and a black bag, this could completely work (clearly at this price, my navy and black issues have gone right out of the window).  Only slight niggle that on me, a v neck isn't the best idea in the world.  (I'm slightly pigeon chested - as in I have a protruding Angle of Louis.  Unless you have one of these, you will absolutely no idea what I'm chuntering on about.  Store it away for a Quiz Night.  You never know when it might come in handy)






Or the Wool Knit Flare Hem Dress was £180 now £60 pre 40% extra off. 



So I must be off now as I have a Jaeger Outlet to explore.  Definitely am in need of either a new dress to go with my navy coat or a new black coat to go with my navy dress. 

Finishing with outfit of the day.  Spent with friends. 

Untitled

Black and white vest - Edun
Black trapeze roll neck jumper - Reiss
Black skinny coated jeans - New Look 
Biker Boots - Seven Boot Lane
Grey poncho - Simply Be
Black Harker hands free bag - Anya Hindmarch

May I please end with apologising if my rather dark humour with regards to how I'm dealing with my mother's death offends anyone.  The one thing I have learnt (and recall from when my father died) is that everyone handles grief in a different way and there are no rules and no right or wrong way.  However that isn't to say, especially if you have suffered a loss yourself, that you have to empathise with how I am handling it.  Apologies if you are upset at all and I promise that the blog is not going to be dominated with the topic, but I may mention it now and again as it's pretty much the major thing happening in my life right now. 

Apart from Christmas of course.  And Christmas stops for no man, dead or alive.  So there will be more talk of Christmas.  And Spring... did I mention new season yet....?!

I'm still being overwhelmed by the support from friends and family as well as my new found virtual online family.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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CONVERSATION

57 comentarios:

  1. I'm so sorry Kat to hear the news of your mum. I've missed a few posts and just caught up. I have always had a dark humour in dealing with life's up and downs (I'm the long time sick/disabled - but recovering - reader who posts very occasionally). If it helps you cope then do it is my advice. Grief is hard enough without treading on egg shells. I love that first dress. What an amazing reduction.

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    1. Thank you. At the very least I get my sense of humour from my mum, so she wouldn't have it any other way! Pleased to hear that you're recovering xxxx

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  2. I applaud your sense of humour and remember when my mum died there were moments of laughter and times when I wished I could share it with her (someone catching their jacket alight at the wake on a candle) - you just get through it the best you can, BTW that Jaeger outlet is a find!!!!

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    1. OMG did you not all howl with laughter at the jacket alight? You see that's my family's sense of humour - we would have thought that was hilarious (which is TERRIBLE as it's clearly Not Funny). Ok so we might not have howled but we would most certainly have smirked....

      I am now going to lose an hour of my life on the outlet!

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  3. My favourite night time read as ever, lovely to hear you speak of your mum like this, take care and thinking of you. Did you get the selfridges sale preview email, maybe something there? Xx

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    1. NO! How did I not get that email??!!! ARRGGGHHH!!!! (and thank you xxx) I did get the 30% off at Harrods one which it would be rude not to look at ....

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    2. No code unfortunately, discount applied when you log into your account, although SHOES30 gives 30% off shoes online. Not sure when I became a valued customer, think it's the Diptyque advent calendar that did it!!!

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  4. Your humour always makes me laugh! Your way of coping is very Irish......Dark and eicjed is how we get by. My mummy had a tounge that could cut you in half, I never stopped being a little scared of her and she loved it. Now, three years since she moved to a better place, we still whisper when we say something negative about her, just in case we never sleep again! We are our mothers daughters, we were taught the skill of dark humour and sarcasm in the womb....dont change Kat...your mum put a lot of work into you xx

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    1. I did wonder what you meant by that... (still do actually!!)

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  5. I wore a bright red dress for my dad's funeral. Maisie was 5 when my dad died and we were howling with laughter at her demonstrating press-ups when a neighbour came round with a casserole and some flowers. She didn't quite know what to make of us.

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    1. I do think some people definitely have a v specific idea of how you should grieve... but most are amazing xxx

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  6. Kat, after my mum died I was totally preoccupied with what I was going to wear for the funeral. I was quite surprised to the extent with which I was. There were going to be so many people there, I wanted to make sure I did my mum proud. I opted for a gorgeous Hobbs black dress with beige at the chest as black next to my face isn't good!! I thought I would wear it after but it's actually never left the wardrobe since!
    Everybody deals with grief differently, you go ahead and do it your way. Every day will bring with it different thoughts and feelings. Sending you love xx

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    1. Oh and the selfridges email gives 40% off designer. I'll forward it to you

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    2. Well there is that.. the not wearing again bit! But I reckon I will.. Especially if it's a coat that I can wear over a dress I already have. To be honest the Me+Em dress is beyond perfect. x

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  7. Don't apologise Kat, you are doing well and thanks for being you

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  8. Kat, please never change your sense of humour. My Dad died 10 days ago and humour is what gets you through these strange times. Dear God I even made a joke at the funeral directors when discussing what to do with the ashes, about emptying the dyson. I'm with you on the black and navy, I love it, others hate it. The lace dresses are gorgeous. X

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    1. Oh my lord 10 days ago, you poor thing. They are strange times aren't they? And yes, humour is getting us through. Have you planned your outfit yet?!

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  9. our family have an unusual and slightly warped sense of humour. mine made even more so a military wife (we need humour in large amounts) When my Nan died, we all went back to her house, including the vicar. both myself and my cousin had recently had babies. my Dad suggested that he could do a 2 for 1 and christen the 2 babies as he was there, the poor Vicar didnt know if he was serious or not,made worse by my Dad then saying did he want him and his brothers to carry my Nans bird bath in so he could carry it out!! Poor Man didnt know what to say or do. Thankfully he did see the funny side of it. We are all different and all handle things in our own way. Navy would be a good choice and i dont believe it has to be black only.

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    1. Oh that's funny! No doubt the navy/black argument is one that will run and run! (in my head at 3am that is...!)

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  10. I'm not sure that I would want to wear a dress that I bought for a funeral again. I have a fab Me and Em swing dress (maybe we have the same one?) that I wore to a funeral last April and now I think of it as a death dress. Absolutely no offense taken here, and in any case, it's your blog, write what you like! Hope your kids are doing OK. Jo

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    1. Thank you xx I know what you mean but I'm hoping it will be a really positive occasion... but who knows. One thing I've learnt about this whole process is that it's impossible to predict how you feel until it happens x

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  11. Kat, long term reader and Ave 57 lady... Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss xxx

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  12. Kat, I think you're amazing xxx

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  13. Death is actually such a 'small' part of someone's whole life so for my parents funerals we celebrated all the good bits.. My Mum adored looking good so my sister and I went off to the hairdressers on the day of the funeral and chose clothes that we know she would have loved to see us in. We had spent 8 weeks nursing her up until her death and we were determined that those 8 weeks out of her 84 years weren't t going to determine how we remembered her. She dressed fabulously and drove fast! That's how we remember her!

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    1. We are so hoping to make it a positive occasion, we really really are. xxx

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  14. You are doing just fine My Lovely. xxx

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  15. Hello Kat, so very sorry to hear the news about your mum. My heart goes out to you, Anna xxx

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  16. I love a navy dress but I have trouble with bare legs this time of year got to fake tan etc etc ive got a load of dos coming up and could wear a few of my navy bits and i got a lovely pair of sparkly navy lucy choi shoes in the sale....what would you wear on your rather long legs!?

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    1. Don't laugh but I would wear nude tights. You can get some great ones, just make sure they're not shiny. Matt is the way forward. And randomly, the cheaper the better!

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  17. Kat I'd go for me and em navy, black opaques and black shoe boots. Never thought I'd be giving you style advice! And your posts are fab, don't change x

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  18. Kat you so don't need to apologise - don't go changing lovely. Your mum I am sure is looking down at you thinking dear God...not the black and navy!! You stay true to yourself and to her. We all love you for it. Btw you cannot go wrong with Me&Em. I love the Whistles dress. And the Jaeger Outlet ones are worth a look. Xx

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  19. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to deal with death and I think your posts and comments on Instagram and Twitter have shown your compassion and love for your mum. I hope your writing will be cathartic for you Kat -please do not stop sharing your emotions, it's a great lesson for your children and for all of us x

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    1. Thank you thank you thank you xxxx

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  20. I'm sorry for your loss, Kat. As someone who has a complicated relationship with their mum (who I also think is in the foothills of dementia) I have found your posts honest and, well, helpful. You've said before that your blog is your happy place, and I hope that is still the case. It certainly gives me a lot of pleasure and entertainment, and if I turn up to the P3 night out in Boden navy waxed jeans and a Hush top, well that's 99% your doing. xx

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  21. Kat, I am sorry for your loss. Your strength is amazing and inspiring..."never mind the haterz", you grieve how you grieve.
    As someone above said, you are a tribute to your mother. Tippchic

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  22. Hi Kat. I have been following your blog for a little while but never commented before. First I wanted to say thank you for this blog it has been something I look forward to reading whenever you post. Thought I might bring a smile to your face when I tell you that I have specified that anyone attending my funeral/wake can only come if they are accompanied by a dog. I am smiling just at the thought of the chaos that will cause:) Death is part of life and you can't have one without the other. As far as grieving is concerned well, why would anyone expect you to do it any other way than you do everything else, with style!

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    1. OMG I love it! I was wondering earlier whether I could take Ginny.. Not sure you're allowed dogs in church?!

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  23. I'm sorry for your loss, Kat. I'm thinking of you and your family.
    Don't (ever) apologize for handling this difficult time with a sense of humor. You are genuinely funny and I always laugh while reading your blog posts (I still crack up when I think back on your leather wonton phrase). You need to make yourself feel better or at least have those light moments of laughter. You do you, Kat, because you're great.

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  24. Kat, thank you for your blog, I read it daily. My heart goes out to you, I lost my mom a few years back. It's good to know there are kindred spirits out there, I thought for awhile I was a little crazy... that at all of my darkest times, fashion was on my mind. What to wear, what to buy, digging things out from my closet and trying them on... somehow helped me cope. I hope you find peace, in your humor, in your fashion, friends, family, wherever and however it comes.

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    1. Oh phew. It's such a relief to know I'm not the only one xxx

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  25. So sorry to hear about your Mum. If it was me I'd be dealing with it in much the same way - better dark humour than none at all. Having been to one too many funerals, my only advice is don't spend too much or get too attached to what you wear because you'll always think of it as 'my funeral dress'; also make sure you're comfortable. Lots of love xxxx

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  26. Humour is great, it gets you through. My mum and I shared a rather warped sense of humour and it's her laugh I miss more than anything. Other people don't always see the funny side of things in the same way that my mum and I did, although my daughter is showing signs of being just the same, thank god! I wore a black dress splashed with bright flowers for my mums funeral (not my usual style at all) as I wanted her to notice me! Don't ever apologise for how you handle grief and it's your blog so u can say what you want, I'm just pleased that you're still finding time and spirit to post at all, I love your blog and yes I am logging on and reading on my honeymoon as promised! (Must change my name here so it matches my IG name) xx

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    1. Thank you so much and hope you're having a truly wonderful time my love xxxx

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  27. You're handling things your own way & it happens to be exactly how I deal with grief. I'm not great handling 'heavy' stuff so have to deal with things how I feel best & sometimes people can't understand my apparent flippant attitude. You know the saying "if I don't laugh, I'll cry"? Well, that pretty much sums me up!
    Navy is absolutely fine for a funeral & I adore the dresses with knots around the stomach area, perfect for me. And thank you for bringing the Jaeger outlet to my attention........or maybe not thank you actually.........!!
    Sending you much love xxx

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    1. I know EXACTLY what you mean! thank you for your lovely comments my love xxx

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