Archive for April 2012

Home Archive for April 2012

Single handedly spending us out of the recession.

Must.

Stop.

Shopping.

Or at the very least, I must return the enormous amount of guff that I have purchased but am not going to keep. And unfortunately, it's not even because I don't like it (ok well some of it is - I've mentioned before about the perils of internet shopping). Recently I have been kissing very few frogs. Bob hasn't been let loose with the credit card, it's been wall to wall lushness that I've been finding. (that has then made it's way home with me....)

But unless I clone myself/it stays above 18 degrees until Christmas (risible thought, no? If it makes it to 18 degrees a handful of times before Christmas I shall snog Santa), then I will no way have the opportunity to wear everything, along with my current, perhaps too bursting at the seams for it's own good, wardrobe. What a bugger. Alternative of course, is winning the lottery so I would only have to wear everything once. Two chances of that happening and one of them's Bob. (Bob Hope and no hope - I love this phrase and moronically think it's hilarious when I use it but about 95% of people stare back at me blankly. Who's the fecking eejit then?)

Even worse, there are oodles of things that I would just love to buy. I shall consign them to my Lust list and bookmark them for the sales. (which, frankly, is just a depressing thing to do as they're either a) always sold out b) reduced by 5p or c) not reduced at all.)

In fact, here's how out of control the situation is. Subconsciously I fear, there is even a part of me that's screaming "get a grip on the wardrobe situation". As on Saturday night before going out, I lost my purse. Absolutely nowhere to be seen. Admittedly I am a complete disaster area when it comes to losing things on a short term basis. There isn't a day that goes by when I'm not heard screeching into the ether, 5 mins before the school run "WHERE ARE MY KEYS/SUNGLASSES/GLOVES/ONE SHOE? etc etc" Completely rhetorical clearly but it makes me feel far less like an incompetent individual to blame everyone else in the house bar me (even a three year old. There is so not a place for me in Heaven, is there?)

However I never lose my purse. Ever. Ever. Ever. Even made a quick dash to M&S on the way to the party as that was the last place I'd had it out. Alas no. Forty minutes of my life that I'll never get back, sat on hold to the Lloyds TSB call centre (name and shame you useless gits) and I cancelled all my cards. All my cards. Eek.

I am now penniless for the next 5 days until my new cards turn up. I feel like I've lost a limb.

And of course, I have since found my purse. In the bathroom. Where (as completely feckless as I am) I would honestly never have put it. Said bathroom is next to Rugrat One's bedroom. She who has a sudden found interest in coins for her piggy bank and has been found rifling through my bag more than once for change. She denies it to the hilt and of course I'd never accuse her as it "could" have been my subconscious hiding it, forcing me to cancel my cards and have a week off shopping. (I feel faint just writing that)

So the plan Stan is. Outfit for party on Saturday is sorted. Ish. I still need a shell top. Friday was a useless trip to London for my top. Ok not entirely true, I may have bought a necklace that I've had my eye on for months (well I "might" have bought three necklaces but two are still safely in the bag and perilously close to the return pile. Sob) I'm almost out of options but I'm sure I'll be able to rustle up something....

The rest of the purchases are going to be ruthlessly scrutinised and unless I am unable to live without them (that's slightly drastic perhaps - I'm sure I will downgrade that to some lesser level of necessity) they will be returned.

What I am keeping and have recently bought is the following

Nude Strappy sandals from Zara Absolutely love these. A proper staple for the summer. £39.99 and not leather but I don't plan on a) wearing them for hours on end or days at a time b) they're definitely only shoes for going out in and c) I don't expect them to last for ever for that price. They definitely don't look like pleather, I was surprised in fact that they weren't. (well with hindsight not, considering the price. Doh)

A little bit of bling from Primark. Fabulous value for £8. Perfect for the summer. They're actually more nude than they look in the photo. Clearly they're going to fall apart after two wears but I shall enjoy wearing them before they do.

Statement necklace from Anthropologie I absolutely adore this. Already wore it out on Friday night. Set to be one of my favourite pieces this Summer. I may have also bought it in the green - trying to work out if I can thoyle both. (the answer is clearly no - I'm obviously trying to work out if I convince myself somehow I can't live without it.....)

By Malene Birger navy and black scarf This is an utter bargain - go forth and shop. £35 down from £70. Ironically useful in this dodgy weather but will come into it's own come the Autumn when we shall all be living in navy and black together - mark my words. (well I certainly will as I now have a scarf that will make it work. Navy and black usually make me twitch, but this scarf is going to make it easy. Loving the justification)

The rest of the large amount I've purchased may or may not make it onto here. (must. be. strong.) Tomorrow I will put up my Lust List of things I papped on my shopping trip on Friday. (as you can see, I'm clearly going in the right direction. Not.)

But now onto a quick round up of what I've been wearing.

Friday for shopping, lunch with The Husband, a hop, skip and a jump round Hirst exhibition at the Tate Modern (fabulous by the way) and home. A more than usually horrendous photo but I had to get changed to go out so it was this or nothing. Poor poor excuse.

White vest - Primark
Beige linen tee - Zara
Distressed biker jeans - By Malene Birger
Beige and grey jersey blazer - Zara
Fabulous Finches scarf - Mulberry
Tan leather and rivet cuff - Mulberry
Matt gold chunky link bracelet - Made
Tan shopper - Zara
Tan Cypress ankle boots - Acne

Friday night out - Ibiza theme. hmmmmmm. Not exactly Ibiza weather but nevertheless a nod to the theme.

Blush pink vest - By Malene Birger
Blush pink cropped coated jeans - Zara (new but to be returned as hem came down. Balls)
Blush pink sequin cardigan - Zara (in love with this - finally tracked it down - yee ha)
Nude strappy sandals - Zara (can you spot a theme?)
Statement gold and cream stone necklace - Anthropologie
Matt gold chunky link bracelet - Made
Tan De Manta clutch - Alexander McQueen

Saturday - usual rat race of doing stuff with the kids - gymnastics, cinema, shoe shopping (for them - yawn) etc.

Indigo super skinnies - Zara
Indigo chambray painters smock - Joseph
Black and navy spot scarf - By Malene Birger
Tan suede and leather boots - La Redoute
Tan shopper - Zara

And now for the piece de resistance. An 80's Fancy Dress party for a friend's 40th. Not really much else I can add, bar thank heavens for Primark and how bloody expensive is Claire's Accessories??! Pocket money shop my arse. (no wonder RR3 regularly delves into my purse) Daylight robbery. Rugrat Three is delighted at the new legwarmers, clip on earrings and Mickey Mouse top she is now the proud owner of.

I somehow don't feel that anyone is going to be remotely interested in where anything is from. Top and shorts are from Primark, all other accessories are from Claire's and the shoes are from the attic. Who knows why I kept them but thank goodness I did.

Haven't papped today's outfit, will save it for tomorrow. But let's just say thank heavens for the sunshine. As tomorrow we're back to boots by all accounts. And welcome to May.

Confessions of a pathetically fickle individual

So clearly my blog on Monday was all about how, this season, I was going to wear my sensible fashion hat and would be eschewing the dangerously mutton area of print jeans.

Well here's my blog today. On how I talk an absolute crock of shit.

As I now don't just own one pair of print jeans - oh now, that would mean I was just verging on being fickle. Hell no, I needed to include the word pathetically in my fickle title and went ahead and bought two pairs.

I did return to the wonderland of Primark to replenish my embarrassingly barren underwear drawer (check) and needed to pick up something appropriate for an 80's party we're going to on Saturday night (oh Primark, you so so didn't let me down - there will be pictorial evidence of the outfit I promise). Whilst I was there, I did have a squizz for the tan leopard print jeans (only pink or purple which really did scream, dear lord no, to me - lovely on others, not entirely my bag) and ended up coming away with a pair of pastel floral ones instead. Yes exactly. How?! a) I had decided that floral jeans were seriously not going to work and b) pastel? I loathe pastel and there's even lilac on them. Lilac is a colour that can move me from nausea to a little bit of sick in my mouth, in one glance.

But stone the crows, I love these jeans. The fact they were £13, I'm not going to lie, was a big deciding factor in their purchase. And, as importantly, they are really a fantastic fit. They do come with the most hideous lilac plastic belt which has gone straight into the bin but all I can say is - bring on the sunshine!

Here is a quick pic of them - a terrible terrible pic - even more dire than the usual abysmal quality of photo I offer up. (photo taken exceptionally late last night, The Husband was out and I'd managed to do justice to the majority of a bottle of wine and therefore sorting through all my wardrobe seemed like an exceptionally good idea. As you do.) Apologies but hopefully will give an idea that they're not "that" bad. Of course, you may well be sat there thinking, holy hell, the woman has lost leave of her senses, they are completely ming a ring ding. And seeing as I now hold the title of A Pathetically Fickle Individual, I'm guessing the chances of me holding that opinion in the near future, are quite high.

Here with a new Zara blouse (I don't normally do blouses. I look like a politician's wife in them. But this one I love - fabulous Mulberry Silk cream loose blouse) and new Zara shoes. (to be discussed at a later date) Just a lovely outfit for casual nights out in the Spring/Summer. Are you not just loving my optimism that one day, who knows, we may actually get a sniff of a Spring (I'm not counting my chickens with regards to a Summer. I'm glass half full - not a complete moron)

The second pair are for a Christening, birthday party, evening shindig (ie fab day out!) I have next week. I had originally planned on getting a dress (despite my pathological hatred of dresses on me) that would serve for the number of "events" I have in the Summer. However it occurred to me last week that although it's in May and that, surely, is miles away, it is, in fact next Saturday. The chances of it being 73 degrees with wall to wall sunshine aren't great. Bugger.

So I was thinking trousers (in fact I was thinking - huzzah trousers - my beloved trousers, I will have an opportunity to buy new ones). I had ordered the JBrand floral ones. Big Fail. And had clearly moved on to thinking about plain trousers.

But a chance quick shop in Whistles and I spied the following on a rail. All on their little lonesome, looking lost and bereft and quite gorgeous. I did think they were a DVF print, it's very very similar to the print on the Kenley scarf and the leopard print she did in her vintage range last year. I hadn't seen them at all before and was told that they had only been in the main London stores and these were a return. In. My. Size. Meant to be or what? I've since found them (admittedly mostly sold out) in John Lewis, so the "exclusive" bubble has been somewhat burst. But I don't care. I still love them.

Here they are - another dreaded print jean!

I am infatuated with them. All I can say really. They will work so well with most things I own, they can be dressed up, dressed down and are totally trans-seasonal. They tick every single box I think should/could be ticked when purchasing a new garment.

So, caught up in the excitement, I also bought this jacket to complete the outfit - again, just perfect and a complete box ticker. House! The Leni Jacket in dark cream. I get so much wear out of the camel knitted blazer I have from Whistles, this is set to be also a staple in my wardrobe and will be perfect for next Saturday.

Shoes, still to decide but I think I have my heart set on a pair of stack heel, double ankle strap sandals in tan and black from Zara. Which will go work really wel with my tan De Manta Alexander McQueen clutch.

Huge fly in the ointment and my mission for tomorrow is a shell top to go underneath. This is proving to be really difficult to track down. I want something smart enough to wear to a formal occasion but not something so prim I can't wear it out at night. Sounds easy? You'd think so, but boy am I struggling. Zara has a black crepe sleeveless top that I've ordered which might work but I'm not convinced about it under the cream jacket - will have to try it all on. I'm really pinning all my hopes on a trip to Cos tomorrow.

I seem to have so much else to catch up on but time is running away with me so I'll save it for Saturday.

A quick round up on what I've been wearing in the rain (aren't you impressed with my lack of harping on about it? My lucky friends have been party to my incessant moaning instead. Oh how they love me) On the upside I've just realised I've been able to give all my By Malene Birger scarves a good outing (great value scarves by the way, highly recommended. Have my eye on a couple in the sale - always worth watching out for)

Tuesday - dull dull dull outfit, the coat is now going in the bin as I'm so over it. However I did get to try out the navy and black theme which I think is going to be massive come the A/W and I'm loving it. Am also completely over these boots which are at least 4 years old, probably 5. Definitely in need of a big clear out come September. (yippeeeee!)

Distressed skinny jeans - Zara
Black vest (not seen) - Primark
Black fine knit jumper - Cos
Black and navy spot scarf - By Malene Birger (terrible photo)
Black patent moc croc boots - Gabor
Gold chunky link bracelet - Made
Navy trench - Zara
Black patent Lily bag - Jaeger

Wednesday. Yesterday I had actually gone out first thing in my winter parka and a jumper. And thought oh bugger this, I am NOT going to let the weather ruin my mood. I felt hideous in it, so bombed home and changed and felt my compromise outfit was much better. Armed with an umbrella whilst out and about.

White ribbed longline tee - Joseph
Black jersey double breasted blazer - James Perse
Distressed biker jeans - By Malene Birger
Tan and black snakeskin scarf - By Malene Birger
Tan leather and suede boots - La Redoute
Chestnut battered cross body bag - Campomaggi from Plumo

Thursday

Stone and olive striped tunic - Toast
Khaki skinny zip jeans - By Malene Birger
Khaki and black leopard print scarf - By Malene Birger
Chocolate leather biker jacket - All Saints
Gold chunky link bracelet - Made
Tan rivet and leather cuff - Mulberry
Brown leather and chain detail cuff - Hultquist
Tan Cypress Ankle boots - Acne
Chestnut cross body bag - Campomaggi from Plumo

Tomorrow I have an utterly blissful day ahead of me. School coffee morning early doors and then I'm shooting off to London for a whizz round the shops and then a spot of lunch with The Husband and the Damien Hirst exhibition at The Tate Modern. Back home for a night out at the first birthday party of a local restaurant (and "night spot" ie where it descends into "mumdancing" on a Friday and Sat night. Pure unadulterated class, not. Huge amounts of fun, absolutely) Theme is Ibiza night. The Husband is beside himself with glee. (The Husband doesn't do dancing.....) I am all of a quander about what to wear, mostly because of (and I couldn't not mention it) the effing weather. Have yet to mention to The Husband that ideally they'd like people to wear white............

See you on Saturday!

My little rays of Primark sunshine

I'm going to say this only once as I'm boring myself by even thinking it.

I am So Over This Rain.

Ok so that's probably a humungous lie as no doubt, I'll want to repeat it tomorrow and every day till it stops. And it has to. It definitely has to as I'm not sure I'll want to be held responsible for my rain fuelled actions otherwise. I'm positive I have the wet weather equivalent of SAD. As immensely pathetic as it sounds (all the more so as I'm fully aware I have banged on about it numerous times) I absolutely detest the rain. Someone once said to me "there's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing........" "input not so polite swear word." Put it this way, when it rains and my children moan, I can't put my washing out to dry, my kids can't play out in the garden, it's nearly May and I've had my heating on all day, that is absolutely bugger all to do with inappropriate clothing. That's bad weather and it puts me in a really Really bad mood. Rant over.

On to sunnier things, Friday was a lovely day and, as promised, here is my haul from the wonderland that is Primark. I've had a love/hate relationship with Primark over the years. I've worked out though, that where I used to go wrong is where most people (and I in the past - hell I've been a sinner too) go wrong with sales shopping. We all love a bargain and so buy it as it's cheap. Who give a monkey's if we never get round to wearing it - it was such a steal! Error.

So my mantra in more recent times has been, imagine it triple the cost. Would you still want to buy it? Clothes wise, I stuck by my rule and came away with the sum total of four vests. Two black and two white. I would have loved some nude/blush ones but alas, it being the summer of colour, neutral vests were not on the agenda. I can confirm that they are still as good as they were. Long (even on me, bum length), a good cotton/elastane balance, adjustable straps and best of all, £2. Having tried vests on pretty much everywhere, these, I can say, are the best strappy vests on the market bar none. Much better than the Marks and Spencer ones that I ordered. Do size up though. I got a 12 and they're fine. Tight fitting but not super clingy.

And now on to slightly more exciting purchases. I've never actually looked at Primark jewellery in much detail, but was beyond impressed with the two - huge - sets of earrings that I picked up. It's certainly a case of trawling through the jewellery section, the majority of which is a clear tribute to TOWIE (she says hypocritically having bought earrings that would suffice as actual light fittings) but I was most impressed with the two pairs I picked up. (one of which I've already worn - the sign of a winning purchase)

Blush chandelier earrings and off white chandelier earrings - £4 a pair.

The following purchases are all in the bracket of Confession Time. And deep breath. I hate buying underwear. Up there with practical trainers (closely followed by gym gear) these top my list of "Things I have to buy but begrudge wasting good Handbag/Shoe funds on". It is that time of year again (ok so if I'm honest I should probably admit that it's not so much 'year', but maybe that time of decade. Oops.) to replace my smalls. It doesn't help, that as much as I don't like buying them, I am super fussy when it comes to what I wear. Go figure. Nothing can remotely dig in - there can be no element of muffin, there can be no element of actually feeling the garment on. (please bear in mind there is no rhyme or reason to my weirdness when it comes to undercrackers). Imagine my joy at finding these fantastic numbers at Primark for (and the utterly best bit) £1 a pair. They are the most comfortable pair of knick-knacks I have had on in years. I only bought two pairs (one large and one larger, like I said I don't like anything remotely digging in but in fact, I only need the large) but I am going back tomorrow with Rugrat Three in tow (oh what a lovely day out for him - I've promised him he can also have new underwear - Pants shopping with Mummy. Slightly concerned he may be scarred for life...)

So here they are in their full (unworn, I hasten to point out) glory. In the flesh they are a much nicer nude colour than the dodgy 80's bridesmaid shade of peach they are here.

Confession number two is that I now also always always buy my swimwear from Primark. In the past I have succumbed to more expensive brands and shopped further up the High Street food chain. Those were the days though when I actually went on proper long holidays in the sunshine where one was able to actually "sunbathe", people bought you drinks on the sun lounger and we could eat in proper restaurants at lunchtime - not ones that sold something with chips. Since those days (for the moment) are long gone and my opportunities for needing to wear luxury swimsear are few and far between, my annual hauls from Primark, are perfectly appropriate. It's also one of the occasions where I can thank my lucky stars for boobage like bee stings as there is no need for any expensive scaffolding - Primark's finest do the trick perfectly well.

Here's my treasure trove of swimwear for this year.

Nude and black Missoni style mix and match (padded obviously) bikini - £6 (for both)

Navy and off white stripe bikini (this I probably wouldn't have bought on it's own but couldn't resist with the matching bandeau midi dress below) £5 for top, £3 for bottoms.

Matching bandeau midi dress £8

Charcoal midi bandeau dress (this has the loveliest shearing at the waist). Goes really well with Missoni style set. £8

Red and white beach dress - £10. Will be perfect with black bikinis I have from last year.

Kicking myself I didn't pick up some jewelled toe post sandals as well, so will be hunting those down tomorrow. Ditto a pair of tan leopard print jeans (I know, I know) that they didn't have in my size. My middle names are Stuck Record, just in case no-one knew.

And here's a round up of what I've been wearing the last couple of days. To be fair, the weather hasn't been "that" bad and we've been able to dodge the showers (today has been a completely wipe out mind you, hence I'm looking more Crystal Tips by the hour.)

Saturday - a day of taxi driving the family around. Gymastics, followed by dropping off at a party, picking up boys for Rugby lunch, picking up from party, picking up from Rugby lunch and finally being able to come home for shower and bath and some more fake tan (it's the weather - I need colour. When I start looking like ET when Elliot found him down by the stream, fake tan becomes as vital as oxygen)

Blush silky tee - H&M

Grey and beige blazer - Zara

Grey baxter jeans - Topshop

Apricot and beige tassel scarf - Mint Velvet (first outing for this - very pleased with it)

Tan Cypress ankle boots - Acne

Brushed gold chunky link bracelet - Made

Tan shopper - Zara

And out on Saturday night with friends for dinner. Fabulous evening, great food and wonderful company.

Black and gold lurex top - Zara
Cream and gold jacket - Zara
Black coated skinny ankle zip trousers - Cos
Brushed gold chunky link bracelet - Made
Black suede stilettos - Zara
Off white and gold chandelier earrings - Primark (with an idea of how humungous they are)
Tan De Manta clutch - Alexander McQueen

Sunday was a complete family day. Spent the morning watching The Voice and then went out for lunch. Rain started coming down monsoon stylee and so we retreated home to have early baths and a family movie (Shrek Forever After, surprisingly enjoyable).

White tee - Isabella Oliver
Indigo straight legs turned up to 7/8ths - Jigsaw
Camel knitted blazer - Whistles
Navy and white scarf edged in red - Zara
Gold bee necklace - Alex Monroe
Navy low Converse
Chestnut battered cross body bag - Campomaggi from Plumo

Monday. Breakfast with school mums which was a lovely catch up and then back home for the obligatory tidy up after the carnage that somehow happens over the weekend. Only my kids who have zero concept of "putting things away?" And a lovely bit of me time blogging till the triple school run began.

Dark tobacco long sleeved t-shirt maxi (midi on me) dress - All Saints
Light tobacco ribbed over the knee socks - Topshop
Chocolate leather biker jacket - All Saints
Leopard print scarf - Louis Vuitton
Tan wide hipster belt - Fever London
Tan rivet and leather cuff - Mulberry
Dark brown leather cuff with chain detail - Hultquist
Dark tan suede and leather pirate boots - Asos
Chestnut battered cross body bag - Campomaggi from Plumo

Close up of the boots - definitely beyond their sell by date now. Will look to replace them come the A/W (or perhaps sooner if this freaking weather continues) with some Keira boots from H by Hudson I think. Of course I should have bought them in the sale but if I had done you could guarantee that I would have gone off them and they would have been a Breadmaker purchase. Now that I haven't bought them, it's sod's law they will be my must have item come September and I will either have to shell out full price for them or they'll be sold out and I'll spend the entire A/W trying to find a replacement. And I wonder why The Husband doesn't understand me......

The wonderful Keira boots from H by Hudson

Till next time!

Flogging a dead sheep

The realisation that at a certain age (thirtycoughnine - I must change my profile although if I do that means I'm "really" 39 whereas in my head I'm still 23. Balls.) there are some trends which are probably just better left to the younger sheep in the flock.

And my dead sheep this season, is the print jean. Oh how I've tried. I love them, I really really do. Just not actually on my legs. And as they're meant to be worn and not just sit in my wardrobe as trouser art, I've accepted it's a one sided relationship. They really do me no favours at all and I'm having to kick them gently to the curb. I've tried to shoehorn them into my wardrobe and my lifestyle but it's most definitely square peg round hole territory.

Certain things have led me to this juncture - one being that as much as I don't think they look too bad on, I just don't feel comfortable in them. Strike one. Secondly I saw a girl the other day in a pair and she looked just fantastic. She had on a pair of floral print jeans (from Zara), a striped shirt, an oversized chunky knit cardigan and a tartan scarf. Honestly she was the epitome of cool. And of course she was about 12. Ok so maybe 16 but not a day over 18, guaranteed. Were I to have donned said attire, chances of me getting carted off by the men in white coats? Middling to high. Like a smack in the face, I realised that I was having another inner Alexa moment. Regardless of how much I love a trend, at sniffing 40, there are some things that just aren't going to work. Strike two.

Of course, it still didn't stop me going to Primark today and trying on every pair of print jeans they had in the shop. All of which still gave me that same dodgy children entertainer's look (not that there is anything wrong at all with being a children's entertainer - hell it's certainly not a job I could do without being arrested after 20 mins - but I think we can safely agree that the attire they wear, probably isn't something you'd choose for lunch out with the girls. Or ever for that matter.) I came away empty handed (although truth be known, if the beige leopard print jeans had been in my size, I think I would have caved. But that's hardly branching out into the scary realms of proper full on print + colour.)

I will also admit to a sneaky My Wardrobe order of the most beautiful print J Brand jeans. So gorgeous, I was prepared to pay £240 for them.

I had great hope for them on ordering, although I should have seen the writing on the wall with the debacle that was purely the purchasing of them. Two pairs, so a not small sum (but not that big - I've certainly spent more) that my credit card company had an issue with and referred me to the fraud department. Which = complete disaster as I was trying to sneakily order them whilst The Husband was having a shower, he then comes back and asks who am I bellowing at on the phone, I then had to explain, he wanted to see what I was buying and nearly had an apoplectic fit at me spending close to £500 on the offending items above. Suffice to say he's not a fan of the print jean. Made for an interesting evening's conversation. I "may" have said that it was all for research purposes and of course I never had any intention of keeping them..... They were clearly never meant to be, were they?)

Anyway I had envisaged a little off white silky/jersey shell top and blush coloured blazer for the onslaught of smart events I have - anything to get me out of the black hole that is The Dress (there will be more on that in the coming days.) I even thought with a white vest top and my blush sequin loose blazer from Zara for a couple of big parties I have over the summer. Yeah right. That will be a no then. Big Fail. They looked no better on that the Primark ones, despite me still loving the pattern and the colour. Maybe in a cushion.

The last reason that I've accepted they're just my mutton moment of the season, is that I can't put them together in an outfit that I love. Which has the potential to bring Bob out of hibernation and have me charging round the High Street and dangerously roaming loose with card on the internet, desperately purchasing a massive pile of tut to go with them, in the vague hope that I will be able to channel the print jean. Nah. I'm waving the white flag and I'm admitting defeat. Strike three and I'm out.

I fear I am so scarred by the amount of colour that has adorned my legs in changing rooms and from the sea of bags and boxes that cover the bed in the spare room, I shall also not be joining the coloured jean party either. I shall make do with the raspberry numbers I have and retreat back into my hole of more muted, uninspiring wardrobe shades. That's not to say I don't think coloured jeans are a mutton item. Not at all and not in the slightest. I think they look fantastic on - this is just my realisation that my comfort zone is in a much duller place. There are lots of other fashion trends which I think one can cherry pick from - statement jewellery for example, texture (jacquard, coated trousers etc), the wedge trainer - but I'm coming to the conclusion that, at a certain age and with a certain lifestyle, it's quite difficult, and certainly not cost effective short or long term, to do more than a couple of trends at a time. It's more about being comfortable with the style you have, developing a good quality wardrobe with longevity and adding in the couple of relevant fashion trends which work for you.

Which sounds to me like I need to go shopping again. That has to be the best thing about doing this blog. I always manage to talk myself into needing to go shopping. Genius, if I do say so myself.

Just quickly following on from yesterday, in case anyone was losing sleep over the thought of a drunk Oompa Loompa loose on the town, an overwhelming thumbs up to the new fake tan I used. Vita Liberata Mousse, from Boots. Clearly I put it on like a chimpanzee with boxing gloves and so it's ever so slightly crap in certain areas but that is definitely the workman and not the tools. Really pleased with the colour, lack of odour and ease to apply. So here's me looking less like Caspar, last night and today.

Thursday night

Off white cowl neck Renoir top - FCUK
Black coated zip bottom skinnies - Cos
Pearly Queen style jacket - Phase Eight
Black stilettos - Zara
Bone necklace - Mango
Tan De Manta clutch - Alexander McQueen

Friday

Black & off white striped jumper - Joseph

Black skinnies - Cos

Cream swing cardigan - Goat

Black suede and patent ballet pumps - Banana Republic

Fabulous Finches scarf - Mulberry

Black patent and gold stud Tilly bag - Jaeger

Right, stealth hangover has finally got the better of me - off to chow down on a kebab that The Husband has just bought home. The eptiome of class.

How to dress like a tool in the rain...

.......as demonstrated by me yesterday. What a completely and utter cock up. One could be forgiven for thinking I had jetted to the South of France for the day but alas no. Even though every single day of the week on the weather app on my Iphone was a hideous state of downpour, in my infinite wisdom I thought I'd give April the benefit of the doubt, throw caution to the wind and embrace what should be the start of Spring. Fool.

Here's what not to wear on a soaking wet Wednesday when you have two school runs to do and it's raining cats and dogs. (in my defence, it wasn't actually raining when I left the house. I may be part moron but I'm not certifiable. Yet.)

Nude vest - Primark

White linen t-shirt - Zara

Black and white striped cardigan - By Malene Birger

Indigo Baxter jeans - Topshop

Teal/jade/khaki grey leopard print scarf - Marks & Spencer

Gold bee necklace - Alex Monroe

Gold pine cones necklace - NW3 at Hobbs

Rose gold ballet pumps - Zara

Jade bag - Jimmy Choo

A day when it all went a bit wrong. It's not often that I feel really uncomfortable in my outfit - occasionally it does happen but I've no qualms about getting changed (hugely shallow alert - I can't be the only one who does this......) I do, however, draw the line at buying an entirely new outfit when out just because I feel a bit blah. (as tempted as I may have been, even I'm not a) that shallow or b) that flush). Partly it was the fact that I was freezing bloody cold, partly it was the fact that I was wearing a cotton knitted cardigan in the pouring rain but mostly it was the fact that my feet and shoes were wet. Which is one of the most hideous feelings known to man. Also the fact I looked like a complete (drowned rat stylee) knob.

I am also now harbouring vicious thoughts towards the bright jade elements of said outfit. As I may have mentioned, I struggle generally with colour. I adore wallowing in muddy, dull shades of navy, black, khaki and beige. I stretch to an as equally uninspiring colour palette of stone, white, nude and cream in the summer. I have an OCD style complex when it comes to bright colours generally - for years, they've given me the twitch. I fear that yesterday's escapade may have set my burgeoning relationship with colour back a notch. Certainly the scarf and (admittedly old) bag have been consigned to the back of the wardrobe for the foreseeable future. Which is handy, as it looks like (according to my new bible which I study on an hourly basis - the weather iphone thingymajig) that is going to do nothing but pour with rain until at least next Wednesday. Joy.

Today however, have learnt my lesson. Pah to anything vaguely seasonal. I am back to A/W attire with a vengeance. And I was still cold. Am off out tonight but refuse to allow the weather to get my down. Seeing as there is zero point in wearing anything vaguely summery, I have bought myself some new fake tan in an attempt to blow the cobwebs away. As intelligent (ish) as I allegedly am, I occasionally do some exceptionally stupid things (yesterday's outfit being a prime example). Other randomly moronic past escapades include removing Eastern European weightlifter style tache with Veet, 20 mins before going out. And therefore having red raw top lip instead, covered in a 2 inch layer of foundation in an attempt to tone it down - not one of my finer beauty moments. I have a vague recollection of having a last minute fake tan disaster in the past. But it obviously can't have been "that" bad as I don't remember butt clenching humiliation - so in for a penny, in for a pound, going for the double bubble and am doing last min fake tan with a new, never before used, product. Photo of Oompa Loompa and Gulliver's love child (in outfit - not to fear, there will certainly certainly be no nudity) to follow tomorrow.

Thursday

Stone and black jersey dress - Whistles

Distressed biker jeans - By Malene Birger

Gold bee necklace - Alex Monroe

Leopard print scarf - Louis Vuitton

Black Madonna stud wedge trainers - Ash

Chocolate leather jacket - All Saints

Chestnut battered cross body bag - Campomaggi from Plumo

Despite the horrendous weather I did manage to have a lovely day yesterday shopping. Buying shoes and a bag for a friend's wedding outfit. And managed to sneak in a fabulous purchase which i'm going to have as my Lust of the Day as they are going to be my fall back going out trousers of the summer. I am on a mission to also get them in the nude/blush colour as well. All hail the return of the cropped trouser. I am completely sold as a tall person, finally I can buy normal people's trousers as cropped is cropped - an inch or two shorter makes pretty much no difference with most styles. Yee hah!

hmmm ok admittedly they don't look cropped in that pic but I promise they're cropped in real life. Well the ones I have are, most certainly on me and they look pretty ok. From Zara, only a size 12 left online but they have a large selection of similar ones instore.

Back tomorrow, with hopefully the start of the laborious journey that is the Smart Summer Even Outfit. Arrrrggggghhhhhhh. As someone who doesn't really do dresses, this is my annual bete noir. Actually it's one of two as I also have the same disaster with the Smart Winter Event Outfit. The latter is somewhat easier as I can encase my legs in the heavenly product that is the opaque tight. Not so easy in the summer. Let my battle with the high street commence......... To wear a dress?? Or to branch out in something else.......

Some would say marmite....

.....and some would say just plain nasty! My new necklace that is. A purchase, a purchase, one that I love. It may have made me a teeny tiny bit late to pick up Rugrat 3 from nursery and then very late to pick up the other two from school but well, I managed to persuade them to actually take it out of the window. Yes. Honestly. All faint. What is it with the holy mantle of window dressing - especially accessories? The world is not going to stop turning if you exchange one necklace/handbag/scarf for another on a mannequin. Ok so it takes a special kind of special person to actually enter the window/step onto podium in shop and change the clothes (allegedly. Really though? Health & safety perchance? Yawnarama) but just to whip of a necklace or exchange one bag for another? hmmmmm.

But I succeeded. Now clearly, 95% of people are going to think I've lost leave of my senses and it's the most hideous necklace anyway. Maybe they did feel sorry for me and thought, bugger that, we won't sell it to anyone else - hell yes, she can buy it.

And here is the little beauty.

And - as even I'll admit it looks somewhat random just there on it's own, missing a woolly mammoth - here is a promo shot from the Mango website. Looking slightly less like an artefact from the Natural History Museum slash part of a Wilma Flintstone fancy dress outfit (oh have no fear, I've already got my comebacks stored for the sarky comments I've anticipated from The Husband and his Merry Men)

As I mentioned a while back, I am a huge advocate of statement necklaces in the summer to take the place of my beloved scarves when it does get too warm.

But as it's hardly tropical yet (I'm not "actually" complaining as my Spring wardrobe wipes the floor with my high summer one. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.....) I did also manage to sneak in a little summer scarf number as well. Apricot Tassel Scarf from Mint Velvet.

If anyone is in the market for some lighter weight scarves for the Spring then Mint Velvet has some lovely ones. A really good selection here. Particularly love the nude and the cream beaded pashminas (below) which would be great for adding texture and warmth to some of the print items of clothing that are about (I might be getting a little addicted to print jeans.... unfortunately my Topshop ones, the button popped off. They did assure me that it wasn't one too many pies on my account, but a problem they do have with Leigh jeans. Instead of reordering them, I have my eye on another pair which are ever so slightly more expensive. Watch this space)

This slate and ivory tassel scarf, I think is a lovely boho addition to a plain outfit. And would also work well in the A/W as well.

I can say all of that on good authority, as I managed to go shopping on Monday. On my own. With no Rugrats in tow. Hallefreakinglujiah. I absolutely adore my children but it was utterly heavenly. And boy, was I a better parent on Monday morning looking forward to it, on Monday afternoon when picking them all up (if slightly/very late) and today as well. Pure, unadulterated bliss.

Especially after the weekend we had. I may have been approaching somewhere near the end of my tether last week (as I'm sure most of us who had had kids on Easter break were) but had limped through to Friday night, on the promise of being able to at least wee in peace over the weekend whilst The Husband helped out.

Unfortunately (and not to go into too much detail), The Husband's guts had other plans and he was laid up, literally in bed, all weekend. All Weekend.

Which made for an interesting (and very, very Very long) Saturday and Sunday with my children. I cannot lie, I did not shower myself with mothering glory. There was a lot of cinema, sweets, shouting, shouting and more shouting BUT we got through and, on the upside, they were actually looking forward to going to school/nursery on Monday morning (oh the shame).

However after a fabulous Monday and the promise of more tomorrow (I'm having withdrawal symptoms and have research to do.... that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it) I am going to nominate myself for the Mother of the Week award (four bedtime stories tonight - check me out).

So a quick round up of what I've been wearing and then I'm off to prepare dinner for The Husband (who is out for a "quick drink" which means I'm preparing food to be frozen but at least it's there for another night - ooh make that Wife of the Week award as well)

Saturday

Nude vest (not seen) - Primark
Burnt orange fine knit jumper - Cos
Stone skinny trousers - Dorothy Perkins
Navy military knitted jacket - Zara
Green and orange scarf - Aubin & Wills
Gold bee and stone earrings - Etsy
Tan Cypress ankle boots - Acne
Tan shopper - Zara

Sunday

White ribbed t-shirt - Joseph
Natural rectangle linen jumper - The White Company
Distressed biker jeans - By Malene Birger
Fabulous Finches scarf - Mulberry
Tan Cypress ankle boots - Acne
Fuchsia Roxanne Tote - Mulberry

Monday

Black longline longsleeved tee - Isabella Oliver
Khaki zip skinny jeans - By Malene Birger
Vintage style tweed blazer - Zara
Black and tan scarf - Dorothy Perkins
Black suede stud ankle boots - Pied a Terre
Brown leather cuff with chain detail - Hultquist
Cheetah print ponyskin bag - Zara
Sunglasses - Tom Ford

Tuesday