Oh. Dear. God.
Please make it stop. I swear my email is about to break from the deluge of utter tripe that has been bombarding it since Thursday.
Because I am a weak, pathetic individual who does believe the hype and can feel the panic rising as the weekend goes on.
And I know I'm not the only one. I have had friends texting and emailing saying WHAT SHOULD WE BUY? The pressure of missing out on a bargain.
Has it really come to this? Yes it has.
So....... let's all take a deep breath and hold hands. Hide the credit card for half an hour.....
Ok maybe that's slightly drastic. How about we take the approach "You can always return it".
That's it. That's what I'm going for. My new moto shall be "You can always return it". In fact, I'm going to have tee-shirts made with it on (which will be non returnable by the way)
I reckon the trick is NOT to get sucked in to trying something new. The key to successful Black Friday shopping (which does seem to have taken on a whole new life form this year, no? Talk about growing legs, it seems to have grown a herd of legs. And arms and some heads as well) is to think of it like any normal sales shopping exercise.
Stick to the list. Except this has sort of caught me a bit by surprise and I haven't actually made a Sales list yet. I know, I know but we haven't had Christmas yet.
I can't be the only one? So I need another game plan.
I am not being swayed by random sites that I never shop at, enticing me with their 50% off goodies. I am going to methodically (there is nothing methodical going on behind the scenes by the way - I am tapping on this laptop with nails bitten down to the quick at the PURE TERROR of maybe missing out on the bargain of the century but you don't need to know that) work my way through my favourite sites and see if those things I had my eye on have gone under the Black Friday spotlight.
Thinking logically and starting with things I've bought recently and have yet to wear so they could be returned and rebought. (alternatively I could have worn them and just take the new purchases back with the old receipt. Everyone does this, right?)
My Topshop coat. Which went down like the proverbial lead balloon. To be fair there were a few admirers but I'm still loving it. However it's not in the sale and neither is the navy scarf from the other day that I had also wanted.
But let's remain positive and move on to Warehouse. 25% off with the code CYBER25
In the spirit of Black Friday, I'm sticking with black. And whilst I was, in fact, looking for things I'd already seen, I got rather sucked in with their new stock. (not sticking to my plan from the outset. Needless to say I don't live in a glasshouse and I don't normally throw stones)
Black Satin Skirted dress £45 This is the ideal every day black dress and you can either stay elegantly plain or add the required amount of bling. Or leopard print. Or fur. You can go crazy with this one.
Black Suede Thigh High Boots £120 Don't laugh. I have wanted a pair of over the knee boots forever but they are always either too short (daddy long legs R Us) and sort of an unattractive on the knee or they're super weird around the ankle. (as you can see, I am not REMOTELY following my own advice - this blog is taking on a life of its own)
But these? Ooooohhhhhhhhh With skirts and dresses, super skinny jeans. I'm not finalising my list of must haves till tomorrow but these have just made their way straight to the top.
What I actually went to look for was this jumper which I didn't order last time but I do keep thinking - I really really wish I'd bought it. (nicely back on track here - polish halo)
Noir Jumper £40 It's not the best quality but there is a sparkle to the Noir (what's not to love?) and I reckon at 25% off, it's the right price. It's definitely a jumper and there really isn't that much out there like it (I've looked)
Now I'm going for the big guns. The other day in Covent Garden with the 10yr old, I dragged her into the Sandro shop for an itsy bitsy look. Absolutely fell in love with this dress. Alas Sandro being French, clearly turn their elegant noses up at the rather ugly concept of Black Friday, but good old Selfridges are happy to get in on the act and offer 20% off this weekend. Code SELF14
Sandro Graphic Print Crepe Dress in navy £239 (before discount)
And this bag. Which is one of the most stunning black bags I've seen.
Adel Medium leather shoulder bag in Black £450
And don't all hate me at once but they also do it in a grey in the Sandro store. Alas not at Selfridges so there isn't any 20% off. But I am going to be playing chicken with all the Sandro stuff. *rolls up sleeves and prepares for battle*.... Last year when I went for my Christmas lunch with The Husband, this is when I, after a tipple or two, ended up buying my leather dress. BUT it was with 30% off...... I reckon I've got a couple of weeks to hold out for it. We so know this is going to be sold out, don't we?
Moving on to 25% off everything at Whistles. I'm not going to lie - I haven't been that enamoured with their A/W collection. I don't think I've bought anything and I don't even think there's anything on my wishlist.
But navy bags are rare to come by and this one is a beaut.
Duffy Zip Satchel in navy was £260 now £195
Also love the shape of this and as much as I always pontificate how much I don't love this colour, I am starting to get slightly obsessed by it with camel. Or grey..... Or navy....
Crescent Foldover Bag was £275 now £206.25
ASOS has 20% off everything. Code - CYBERWKND20 And here is where all the wheels fall off. Brain can't compute at this point. When someone says money off EVERYTHING, queue rabbit in headlights. Where do you start? ASOS just sells too much stuff. You need to be looking for something specific to even stand a hope in hell of finding what you want. And you need to be in the right frame of mind. I have had a day of children as The Husband went to rugby so we went to see Paddington and then hoofed it to McDonalds.
Via Pets At Home, as the 10yr old won a goldfish last night at the turning on of our Christmas lights (this is the town Christmas lights may I please just point out and not our personal ones... although our new neighbours today had a crane putting their lights up on their roof. I kid you not. Slightly concerned at confusing overhead planes as we're really not that far from Heathrow....). Fish food purchased. The Husband is convinced we won't be able to keep it alive till the end of the weekend. (have to say he may be onto something there... it's not looking like the healthiest goldfish on the planet)
So I sort of can't be tarted right now with the monolithic site, BUT my next plan in world domination in leather is a looser pair of trousers. I've given up on the skinnies. Given. Up. However I have a cunning idea to go for a different style. I have some on the way in the post (pleather not leather) but I've seen these in a mag and with 20% off, I'm loving them.
Esprit Leather Pant £125
Cool as a cucumber here. I have bought ONE thing. More of my beloved Nuxe perfume sets from M&S with 20% off. This gift set is now £31.20 when the 50ml fragrance on it's one is around the £43 mark. And you get the candle as well. I love love love this fragrance. It's France in a bottle. Dear Husband, if you're reading this - this is an easy win for under the tree.....
And frankly now I'm bored of it all. Tomorrow I shan't be spraying and praying - we're back to proper focus. Last day of November and we need to put these Christmas outfits to bed. I have a cunning plan......
Finishing with photo from yesterday - taken by the 6yr old, god love him, who hasn't quite worked out that you need to stand still to take a photo. Details, schmetails.
Collingwood Jumper - Hush
Metallic jeans - 2nd Day
Black and white check coat - Zara vintage
Black buckle boots - Toga Pulla
And today with The Coat. Right, The Husband's comments "errr, you look like Jonny Beermats from Uni" Apparently said Jonny was a tramp who had a coat made from beermats. WHICH he then did acquiesce was quite cool... and he did say he quite liked my coat. At that point I moved the hammer away from his privates and we agreed to disagree. In all seriousness though, he did say it wasn't too bad and he thought I had worse (the mind boggles)
White vest - H&M
Beige thin knit jumper - H&M
Khaki zip jeans - By Malene Birger
Faux Fur patchwork coat - Topshop
White leather tennis shoes - Zara
Camel bag - Prada
Right, this blog has taken me an age to write (hence it's rather random - I'm blaming my brain disintegrating under the amount of emails I've received). My advice to anyone re Black FridayCyber Monkey weekend or what the hell it all is, DO NOT SHOP unless you are a) in the mood for it b) prepared to take it all back or c) have something specific you know you want to buy. I am turning the computer off, getting a(nother) glass of wine, settling down to watch the X Factor whilst The Husband cooks me steak and chips. Happy Days.
Back tomorrow with Focus.