Errr calling Autumn?

Where the bloody hell are you?  When did it become acceptable to miss yourself out and skip straight to Winter? 

No.  No no no.  I'm sorry but wrong diddly.  Just because we may have been party to a slightly warmer beginning to September than we're used to, this weather that you're now dishing up is Not. On.  

Ok, she sheepishly types, I may have been heard muttering about being a tad bored of my limited summer wardrobe.  Well.  I didn't mean fast forward to full on fricking freezing.  And I didn't mean I had plans on building an ark in which to propel myself around town. 

I need to get my (brown for once in my life without the aid of a tanning thingymajig, tis a miracle) ankles out.  And my neck.  Speaking of necks (warning - I am now on full rant mode), I am aware that people have said, oh that DMBL40, all she is is a pair of skinny jeans and a scarf.  Yes I do like my skinny jeans but please people, I do wear other things as well.  However a scarf - yup, I'll hold my hand up to that one.  Because I get cold. 

To those who don't wear a scarf every day.  Do you have thermal necks?  How do you keep your neck warm unless you're wearing a patagonian duvet?  I don't own (as we know) a plethora of practical coats - I much prefer a layer - and so I need, essentially, another layer to keep the wind from my bones aka a neck scarf.

But enough about keeping warm.  For the love of god, I just want to keep dry. 

Now on my Ultimate Wishlist (as opposed to the regular wishlist), I did have heading it up - a proper Trench.  I even gave it a capital T.  Oh how I would have loved a Burberry.  And how I completely kick my stupid, naive, self for 12 years ago (may I point out this is before - definitely before, I swear on a small child's life, the downward slide of the brand) for purchasing a Burberry trench.  With the check on the outside.  Yes, you read that correctly.  On the outside.  What on earth was I thinking?  I did actually wear it.  A lot.  And loved it (and even with hindsight, I honestly don't think it was that bad with the outfits I wore - for work...).  But I remember standing in the shop, umming and ahhing over a plain beige one or a check one.  Tool. 

So clearly the ideal would be to get another trench in a less offensive print. (I may have to pap actually as I'm doing it a disservice, it's not "that" bad... ooh and check is actually back in now...).  If it were to be a Burberry it would definitely be from a trip to Bicester.  They have oodles and oodles of them there - from classic to the way out.  But we're still talking in the region of £600.  Which I really really can't justify at the moment (especially when I have a certain tan bag that's imprinted itself on my retinas and won't go).  Do the ones on the High Street cut any muster at all?

Well here are the comparisons to start with (this is going to be one of those subjects that may run and run) 

Burberry Brit Honey Trench Coat  £1095 (whilst we're here can I please lay my cards on the table and say that I shall not at any time now or in the future be persuaded that leather carrot leg trousers are a good idea).  Lush in all it's 4 figure lushness.  

But I think there must be ones for a fraction of that, whilst they may not last forever like a Burberry should, will certainly last a good few years until I can justify a splurge at Bicester. 

Classic Trench from Gap £59.95  Right now this looks utter pap here.  But I saw one last season in Gap and it looked fab.  I will be checking this one out although I will say up front, I'm not sure it's the best I've seen. 








Slight variation on a theme - a slightly quilted version:-  The Helena Trench from Fenn Wright Manson £150.  I think I'm looking for something slightly more familiar although if you didn't want something completely classic, I quite like this. 



But for me it's a toss up between the good old M&S (which yes, yes, I did try and hunt down last year, dragging a poor 4 yr old after school to the arse end of nowhere where they apparently had it in stock.  No they didn't.  Not only was it a hideous shopping centre, I then proceeded to not be able to find the exit of the car park whilst a) it was tipping it was down with rain and b) I was getting progressively later to pick the other two up from school.) and a Zara one. 

Needless to say I do not have fond memories of attempting to buy a trench from M&S (even though I had tried on one amazing one last Autumn and never saw it again)  However this one looks great.  Can't wait to try it on. 

M&S Pure Collection Pure Cotton double breasted trench coat with Stormwear - £85 









Now I do remember it was an Autograph one that I had loved from M&S so I will also give this one a go.  Although it looks like the model has slept in it (really M&S?) so I'm not holding out the hugest amount of hope. 

But you never know with M&S.  It's like shopping roulette. 

Autograph Double Breasted belted coat with Stormwear £99







And finally a Zara offering.  Now I've never been a huge fan of their trenches - I'll be honest, to me they've always been style over substance.  And being a boring old fart, I am now looking for one that keeps me dry and warm (and clearly I need to have enough leverage in the arms to push the zimmer) 

But whilst I was in Italy at the weekend (I'll just throw that in there), I did (obviously) have a quick sneak into Zara.  Imagine The Husband's delight at me discovering not one, but two Zaras along the same road.

In my defence these were the only shops I went in (oh and maybe a Farrow and Ball - yes, I managed to find a Farrow and Ball paint shop in Modena.  The Husband was ecstatic in being able to point that every single shade of grey in Italy is the identical to the English ones. 

Zara Trench Coat with detachable lining £79.99







So this is my mission for this week when I shall be finally making it to some shops that don't sell tiles, paints, ovens or loos.  There will be bags of them out there - will any be better than the Zara or the M&S ones?  I'll let you know with pics.  Certainly it's worth checking out Jaeger and Hobbs. 

And yes I have been fortunate enough to spend the weekend in Italy with The Husband for his 40th birthday (which was a long time ago for the record - he's not a complete toy boy...) and our 10th wedding anniversary. 

Starting on Thursday with new hair from my fab hairdresser Daniel Jordan and his colourist Louise.  Disguising those random greys.  Over the moon.