Bob is on the loose. Hide the credit card.
Missing. One Fashion Mojo. My Fashion Mojo is the side of me that knows what she's talking about. The sensible, put together and competent side of me. The (admittedly arguably) sane side of me. The side that's reared her ugly head and has been coming out shopping with me over the past week, is the insane, PMT driven, wake me up when it's over, side. The side that shouldn't ever be let loose with a credit card.
This side - I'm going to call her Bob as I can't call her anything female as I am bound to offend someone - comes out pretty much at this time every season. I know this, as there are some complete beauties (read horrors) in my wardrobe that are courtesy of her little shopping escapades. When my usual Fashion Mojo has buggered off somewhere, bound and gagged, Bob gets her rocks off on the High Street.
The most annoying thing is that I am fully aware of when she's getting geared up to come out to play. She even follows rules as to when she's allowed on the prowl.
1) A month or so into new season stock, Fashion Mojo has decided what is going to work for me this season and she's already earmarked a couple of things that will work perfectly with my existing wardrobe. I smugly go to purchase them only to find they've sold out. Panic. Cue Bob. Foaming at the mouth at the thought of being let loose with my purse.
2) In Panic mode from point 1, Bob then desperately combs the high street to find replacement items.
3) Clearly finding said items as fabulous as the original ones is like locating rocking horse poo and Bob therefore ends up purchasing a big pile of tut that vaguely resemble my lust items.
4) Bob brings replacement items home and find that, as they are only vaguely similar to what Fashion Mojo had originally had in mind, they don't work quite so perfectly with existing wardrobe. Which is a polite way of saying, they don't remotely go. At. All.
5) The obvious thing would be to take the entire lot back. However Bob thinks the obvious idea is to go and purchase more highly unsuitable items in the hope that they will work with the first set of crap that she bought.
6) Bob admits defeat when the spare room is awash with carrier bags of said crap and goes and pleads mercy from Fashion Mojo that she'd kidnapped and stuffed at the back of the knicker drawer.
Every. Season. It's almost as if I get fashion overload from looking at it constantly. I blame magazines. One minute I'm supposed to be all about the print jeans, no, the print trousers, no, the print shirt or print blazer, no, the print shirt/blazer AND the print trousers (never. ever. ever.). This week, finally, it's print pyjamas. As day wear. Seriously is it any wonder, as an approaching 40 year old living in the burbs, (ok so just outside the M25, are they countryburbs?) I can get confused. I love fashion, I live eat and breathe fashion, I'm about to launch a fashion business. But there is just so much of fashion that one has to just draw the line at and admit it's never going to work. It's back to the old inner Alexa.
And the weather doesn't help. Errrrrrr hello? Knock, knock, Spring? Where the heck are you? I can't be the only one who needs more than a millisecond warning before Summer? I do feel that I am somewhat at a disadvantage, having skin that needs to turn from blue to white before I can get anywhere near a shade of pale pink, let alone something resembling tan. I can't wear trousers that bare anything more of a cm of flesh, as I look like I'm sporting white popsocks. Honestly. Suffice to say not a great look. As for sandals? Think corpse. Needless to say I'm still stuffing my trotters into boots and the odd (sturdy) ballet pump.
So I'm all in a bit of a kerfuffle with what to wear. I absolutely know I'm not the only one as I have had one or 100 conversations with people asking me what to wear in this weather. I think I've just about got a grip on it, so long as it doesn't get above 22. Ish. I shall cross that bridge when I come to it and shall console myself with the chances of it staying this pleasant for the Easter holidays, are absolutely nil. I would bet higher odds on snow.
On the upside, it has made my Fashion Mojo thrash her way loose of those knickers, give Bob a big punch in the boobs and tell her to trot on until Autumn. Focus. Focus. Focus.
I've gone back to the drawing board and am properly thinking about what exactly I do need for Spring/Summer. It's so unbelievably easy to get distracted, especially if you are a lover of fashion, as there are so many wonderful new looks out there to try. It's also unbelievably easy to let your Bob do the shopping and end up with a wardrobe full of unwearable tut that you'll just hate wearing and therefore won't (or will and feel darn miserable).
So watch this space in the coming weeks as I finally work out what I do need and what I'm going to buy. There's bound to be something I did see at the beginning of Feb that I will kick myself for not buying. But there's bound to be a lot more I could have panic bought now and regret come July. Patience is a virtue. One that Bob doesn't posses. Kick your inner Bob to the curb and just hold fire.
(At this juncture, I should possibly point out that I'm not a certified sufferer of schizophrenia. My inner personalities are merely figures of, a somewhat combobulated, speech)
So what I've been wearing in this glorious sunshine: (can't annotate what I've been doing as smallest Rugrat has been ill, I've had bugger all sleep and frankly I can't remember. Normal service will resume this week, I promise)
Wednesday
Blush boxy thin knit jumper - H&M
Indigo straight legs turned up to 7/8ths - Jigsaw
Nude and pink Camel scarf - Virginia Johnson
Gold chunky link bracelet - Made
Rose gold ballet pumps - Zara
Chestnut battered cross body bag - Campomaggi at Plumo
Thursday
Navy and white striped tunic - H&M
White skinnies - Dorothy Perkins (these have been absurdly fabulous. I think they're 5 years old now. They don't make quality like they used to....)
Navy blazer - Zara
Silver ballet pumps - Zara
Gold bee necklace - Alex Monroe
Gold charm necklace - Made
Cheetah print ponyskin bag - Zara
Friday
Emerald green linen tee - Zara
Distressed biker jeans - By Malene Birger
Jade, khaki and teal leopard print scarf - M&S
Navy blazer - Zara
Chestnut peep toe lace up heeled boots - Kurt Geiger
Tan shopper - Zara
Saturday
White longline vest - Joseph
Silver metallic boxy jumper - Zara
Distressed biker jeans - By Malene Birger
Gold bee necklace - Alex Monroe
Gold pine cones necklace - NW3 by Hobbs
Black and gold stud ankle boots - Pied a Terre
Tan shopper - Zara
Sunday - day spent decluttering. Am on a mission. Am spending hours doing it. Nothing is looking vastly different. It's no wonder I prefer shopping. Tracksuit. Not fit for public consumption.
Monday
Navy and white striped longline jersey top - Joules
Indigo straight legged jeans turned up to 7/8ths - Jigsaw
Off white swing cardigan - Goat
Rose gold ballet pumps - Zara
Gold bee necklace - Alex Monroe
Tan shopper - Zara
I'll be back tomorrow. Promise! Please do feel free to comment or email me if you have any questions on anything. (email is somewhere around I believe..)
Love it. So now I have an excuse to do all my summer shopping in february with mojo present.
ReplyDeleteJust need to come up with something to subdue boredom in March, April, May etc when not shopping. This is where my Bob takes over with a need for quantity over quality! ;-)
ps that was Laura xx
ReplyDeleteSo pleased to see you in white jeans. I was wondering today if it was too early to bring out my inner Liz Hurley - but clearly not!
ReplyDeleteMy 'Bob' comes out to play when I'm bored. I'm staving her off with nail polish purchases this season - figured it would be cheaper to make mistakes that way.
ReplyDelete