What I have learned recently.

That buying white skinny jeans is a task of nightmarish proportions. 

That even if you have thin legs, white jeans can make you look horrific. 

That jeans designed for the younger amongst us do not take into account the muffin you may have accrued at a certain age, regardless of your size. 

Low cut jeans suck.

So.  To cut a long story short, every single pair of white jeans in Mango looked like they have been hermetically sealed to my legs.  Think sausages trying to burst their skins.  Oh such a good look, I can't tell you. 

I have the photographic evidence to prove it.  NOW I could have tried on and perhaps should have tried on a larger size.  But the problem was that these did fit - I've made this drastic mistake before and a bigger size always ends up being too big on the waist.   I just end up with a belt digging into my muffin or a saggy arse - pure joy. 

These are the Eva and the Patty2 jeans. 

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Zara was the same story.  Even a woman in there said - oh my lord how they can do that to your legs.  (I had tried on some other trousers which she had told me were gorgeous so I wasn't remotely offended.  She was right - they were ming) 

And it's nothing to do with the angle of the photo.  Believe me.  Spray painted on white jeans which cling to every ripple of flesh don't look great from any angle.


They were all so thin as well - such rubbish flimsy quality which doesn't have as much significance when you're looking at a blue or darker denim pair but in white?  Well that equals see through.  Barfo mucho. 

I did strike gold though.  Firstly, it will probably come as no surprise, in Levi's. 

Demi Curve White skinny jeans £75  This is a "modern rise"...  Which is Ok as rises go. 

And on me.  Errr,  except they didn't have my size in the white so I tried grey. (you can see how well my day went, can't you?)

Although they did assure me these were the same as the white, it does appear they don't make the above in the white so these must be the:-

Modern Rise Slight Curve Skinny jeans in Grey Freeze £80  These are designed for those with a straighter torso whereas the ones above are for a more hourglass figure.  I'm liking this so far and these were definitely the best I had tried on all day. 

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But the very lovely sales assistant then suggested I try on their Demi Curve which they did have in the white. 

These are a slim cut and come in a Classic Rise which is clearly code for "Old Lady Super Comfy RIse" as that's exactly what these are. 

Now these clearly are much much shorter on me, but I actually quite like the tiny kick flare look.  I think these look a lot more Audrey and are just that little bit different from the myriad of skinny jeans out there.  I am wearing a 30 inch leg here. 

They do also do this in the pale grey as well:-


With the success of my old lady rise jeans fresh in my mind, I thought in for a zimmer, in for a pound, I was going to try the jeans on at M&S.  Now.  I have never even contemplated buying jeans jeans from here - coated skinnies yes (even though I have never got round to it as they NEVER have my size - irritation noted please) - but actual jeans?  Err, hello, from M&S? 

Well more fool me.  I am a total total convert. 

Thick, proper denim, not that flimsy papery stuff that is elsewhere for the same price, a host of different leg lengths and proper "mum tuck your muffin in" high waist.  Not Simon Cowell proportions, just perfect.  However do not be tempted to try the Limited Edition ones with the zips at the ankles - awful and see through.  And their white jeggings.  Good god.  Why would you even make them?  I could see the label through them, let alone my pants (I didn't try them on by the way)

M&S Sculpt & LIft Skinny Jeans £35    And I swear to god - for only £35 the sculpt and lift bit actually works.

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Then, inspired by my straight leg Audreyfied success in Levi's, I thought I'd try on the M&S straight legs.  Oh hello.  For £35.   Really really great (this is actually an 8 so may be slightly on the snug side - as you can imagine, the selection of sizes in store was totally woeful) 


Now I appreciate this is not an exhaustive list by ANY stretch of the imagination.  I also did venture into New Look (too thin - ghastly fabric), Dorothy Perkins (didn't have any instore), River Island (didn't have any instore), Armani Jeans (horribly low cut and very expensive) and somewhere else I can't remember.  I didn't try Next as I have white jeans from there and they are great.  For about 20 mins after which they stretch to double their size.  Which is more than just a tiny bit irritating. 

I absolutely adored my Boden jeans from last year but they have bled from the leather tab on the back of the jeans so we're in the process of sorting that out.  When they have, I will be able to report hopefully on their white jeans from this season. 

I will have a look in John Lewis tomorrow to see what they have in their jeans collections and I'd also like to try them on in Hobbs with the 20% off voucher. 

So my lesson learnt is that you have to think maturely when it comes to white jeans.  At a certain age with certain well earned lumps and bumps that you don't have in your twenties.  But I also discovered that you don't necessarily need to throw money at them. 

I shall report back shortly. 

Outfit for today. 


White vest - H&M
Bat sweatshirt - Zoe Karssen
Grey cargo pants - Hush
Black ponyskin skater shoes - Next
Black Diego Bag - Alexander Wang

See you tomorrow xx

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25 comentarios:

  1. Pissing myself at the Mango ones!!
    Good old M&S they are so good right now

  2. Thanks Kat - I was thinking about the New Look white skinnies as love their supersoft charcoal ones... M&S here I come!

  3. I have Gap Always skinny white jeans and love them! The H&m distressed ones from last year are fab to with a great rise!

  4. First off, love the blog.

    I always buy my jeans in M&S, having made that rather pleasing discovery a few years ago. Generally go for the Limited Edition, though I did try the white skinnies at the weekend, which made my legs look like 2 mounds of tripe (I'm a size 6.) Will have to take a trip to the Classic section on foot of your potential success.
    I have been looking for white skinnies for almost 10 years now and have never managed to find anything I've been remotely pleased with. I too have returned jeans to Next after a couple of hours' wear.
    The M&S ones look lovely on you.
    Please post with an update though, if you do eventually plump for something!

  5. I love that outfit. The grey jeans are lovely on you and the white m&s

  6. Have a look at M&S Autograph 7/8 jeans, lovely thick denim :-) quite a relief to find them as I had been having white Jean nightmares too!

  7. I just purchased the gap 'dolphin' gray jeans and well pleased w them - and they don't get the awful baggy ass syndrome thankfully if sized one size down- http://m.gap.com/product.html?dn=gp941517002&pdn=search

  8. This was such a great post! I hate trying to find white jeans and have had luck with JCrew & Hudson. I also tend to go up one size.

  9. Kat, please check out Cambio jeans. I just got some white ones and they are miracle workers. Make you look fab, not too tight, just the right thickness, no muffin top and they were nice and long. I had James jeans boot cut ones before and they were great too. But not so into the boot cut style anymore.

  10. The Levi grey ones look great on you....and do the M&S sculpt and Lift skinnies! I would never think to look in M&S for jeans but they are definately the best of the bunch!! I couldn't agree more about the Next white skinnies, they do lose their shape so quickly xx

  11. I'm obviously an old hag as M&S jeans are the only skinnies that fit me. It took me a long time to accept this fact lol. x

  12. I brought some white skinnies from Esprit last summer and they are great. They come up big so buy a size down but really flattering (well as much as white tight jeans can be!).

  13. Great post, not that I will probably ever buy a pair of white jeans with my awful legs. But I will definately by trying out M&S for their skinny jeans xx

  14. Great post. When looking for jeans I start out full of enthusiasm which wains quickly after second shop I try then give up. Must give gap another try, gave up last time when the pair I choose wouldn't go past my knees!!

  15. I love the look of white jeans - on other people! - but would never even attempt to slip a pair onto my tree trunks! I am however going to try the lift & sculpt jeans from M&S now so thanks for that as I'm about 20 years past wearing low rise jeans!

  16. I love white jeans but on other people, I stopped wearing them a few years ago, my last pair were from Next and I loved to wear them with a cobalt blue top x

  17. Those 'young' brands are cruelty size wise aren't they? There can't be many young things fitting that stuff. You're such a slim thing too! It's so good when you do all that leg work and show us the results. Brilliant blog Mrs. Do keep it up. VERY useful,witty and REAL.

  18. I love your leopard skaters but cannot find them on the Next website. Any ideas how to track them down?

    1. Thank you Carol! Bought for a tenner.

  19. I bought sculpt and lift jeans last week (denim bootcut), it seemed like they were really nice a fit. However, a few days of wear and they are falling down and I am reduced to hitching them up in a most unattractive fashion.

    Thanks for the Hobbs action - lovely navy and tan flats on their way to me now.

  20. I have a feeling Boden could be the winner! Loving today's outfit darl x

  21. I love the look of white jeans, think Emmanuelle Alt. But I'm not skinny, 6' tall and French. I just bought a pair of
    Paige Skyline skinny jeans. They don't show every lump, thankfully, and it's a comfortable mid-rise. I think the key is to get as close to 100% cotton fabric as you can get/tolerate. If you start adding stretch and other non-cotton to the mix, that's when the white jeans aren't as flattering as they could be.

    I really like the Levi's pair on you, the fit is very nice!

  22. Firstly I've got to get Hush out of the way and say I love your combats - fab!

    Great post and very timely as I've just had a an epic Mango white jeans (amongst other things) fail. Ordered in their sale the other weekend waited nearly two weeks and they are dire. I look like a celeb chef has got hold of my legs and put them in a sous-vide oven.

    I would still love a pair, but lesson learnt and I need to get out to the shops and do a trying on sesh, rather than risking buying any online.

  23. It took me ages to get around to buying a pair & I struck it lucky in a boutique in Tunisia! It always baffles me why they put pockets in them too as I hate them showing through! Grey skinnies are on my wishlist! xx

  24. This was such a great post! I hate trying to find white jeans and have had luck with JCrew & Hudson. I also tend to go up one size.
    straight jeans