Off Piste - you have been warned.

I'm going to come straight out and say it, it's a beauty post.  (be kind to me - they don't happen often - for good reason as you will see) 

Now we are all aware of how rarely I do these as I am the laziest moo on the planet when it comes to beauty.  I look in awe (and wonder) at people who collect nail varnish, eye shadows and beauty products like sweets.  Yes, the irony is that I have a similar obsessive personality but when it comes to shoes, boots and handbags (and jeans, coats, scarves.... let's move on swiftly) 

That's not to say I don't like a bit of primping and preening but I definitely like to cut corners (see - totally lazy). 

I also like to spend as little as I can so that I have more pennies to put into The Shoe Fund. 

So when it comes to beauty, I don't have a long lust list, I am Mrs Billy Basic that has a (short) list of must haves. 

Seeing as there are such bargains to be had on the fashion front in the sales, oh and since I've spend the day with Hush Homewear having the most gorgeous lunch at their founder, Mandy's house previewing their A/W collection, my quest for all things bargainous on the beauty front needs to to ramp up a gear. 

I'm also always being asked if I have any tips (hell knows why) but there you go. 

So, in an off piste episode of the blog, I am bringing you my bargain tips to save pennies for all things clothing. 

Starting with The Tan.  I have mentioned this numerous times but I rarely have a Spray Tan, I do my own tan and I don't spend a fortune on it at all. 

I cannot rave highly enough about my beloved Cocoa Brown One Hour Tan Mousse.

Now I have bought mine in Superdrug in the UK and in Penneys in Ireland but the last three times I have tried to buy it in Superdrug, it has totally sold out.  So I've just ordered some more from Feel Unique (with 20% off - oh hello)

And to make things even better, it's now on special offer (though I don't think you can combine offers...)

Cocoa Brown One Hour Tan Mousse now £4.79

I genuinely believe that this is better than any other tanning mousse on the market, even the ones that are four times the cost.  It goes on with less streaks and blotches, it's a better colour and it lasts just as long.  It also seems to be less patchy when it does fade.  

An absolute must to go with it is the tanning mitt. (to be fair, any tanning mitt will do.  Do not, I repeat, do NOT attempt to apply without a mitt) 

Cocoa Brown Tanning Mitt £2.99


My second favourite budget buy are my nails.  Now, let's start this off by saying my natural nails are pants.  They are truly woeful and nothing i've ever done has made them better.  I have been through the entire gambit of strengtheners, hardeners, etc etc - believe me, nothing works.  I reckon it's the same as people who have thin hair.  There is no product in the world that is suddenly going to give you hair like J-Lo (bar a syrup) 

My old route to having decent looking nails was good old Gel - be it Shellac, be it whatever gel they had going.  And it worked.  It definitely worked.  It also took at least an hour, it also cost £25 to £30 and it also totally trashed my nails (I will absolutely fess up and say this is because I was one of those awful people who used to pick it off.  Oh I know, stop judging, you're not supposed to.  But the feeling of peeling off a whole gel nail in one.... don't knock it till you've tried it.  I told you - lazy, beyond lazy when it comes to beauty) 

I can't even remember how I came across these or who recommended them to me but I am now the biggest convert to.... the stick on nail (I can hear all the proper Beauty Bloggers gasping in horror here - I never professed to be one of you - please forgive me).  I LOVE them.  I fear this may be up there on the Beauty stakes with someone professing their love for Crocs in my world.  Oops.

I have tried them all though and for me, there is only one sort that works. 

It has to be this box of Elegant Touch Polished Nails.  The ones with the little pads.  Not the Express ones.  Not just this colour, but this sort of nail in this sort of box. (you will see that there are lots of different varieties) 

Elegant Touch Polished Nails in Jet Black £6.59




BUT there is one proviso.  I would recommend using the nail glue that you have to buy separately (it lasts for ages though) - do not use the pads.  This picks off your nails like that funny glue you used to get in primary school.  Again, randomly therapeutic (you would think I never got out, wouldn't you) 

Elegant Touch Brush on nail glue £3.50





I've found the best French Manicure one to be these:-

Elegant Touch Classic French American Bare 144  £6.35 (or 2 for £10) - these are actually from Superdrug.  



I've bought mine from Superdrug and Boots in the past although both seem to be preferring to stock the newer Express nails which I just don't get on with.  They have an adhesive pre applied to them and I find them thicker nails which get caught on stuff and in my hair (when I go to flick it - you see, this is the most random post ever).  They do have a great selection at Feel Unique though and on 3 for 2 which is where I've just done an order from. 

Other colours I've had that people have said look fab (and I certainly like) are:- 

Coral £6.59 pre offer



And I've ordered the Acai Berry to try. 



So when we thought that I couldn't sink any lower on the scale of low budget beauty blogs, it's time to think again folks. 

I am now talking moisturiser.  I am talking big bottles of moisturiser and I am talking less than £2 for the privilege.  The downside is that you can't order it online, you need to go....

...................... Lidl.  Don't all laugh at once.  This stuff is fantastic.  Either of them. 

The milk is thicker than the lotion but either are excellent.  500 mls of excellent.  Honest guv.